In my daughter's eyes I am a hero,
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see,
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
This song means so much to me.....I always wanted to be a mom...to raise children of my own, but God had other plans for my life. Though I didn't end up with children of my own, I ended up with a beautiful blessing, sent straight from God. Mark's daughter Mariah, has been in my life since she was four years old. I don't know how many of you have ever been a stepmom. We don't have the best of reputations....We don't have the easiest of jobs, either. It's been about three years now, that Mariah and I have been close. Mark and I had about six months of rough in 2007 and it was then, that Mariah really started to warm to me. I did a lot of changing in those six months as well and that could have been the harbinger for the changes in our relationship. One of the best memories I have of Mariah, in the early years of her life is when she was five. I took her (along with my sister and my niece) to Disneyland, in November. They had just started doing Christmas things at Disneyland and we got to see the Christmas fireworks. After the fireworks, they played "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and it "snowed" on Main Street I picked Mariah up and we danced in the "snow"and then she laid her head on my shoulder and said "I really love you, Momma"....That was the day I began to feel real!! If you don't know what I mean by feeling real, read this: http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html...Things haven't been easy for Mariah and I....These kind of relationships are seldom easy. I have always told her that I didn't want to be her Mommy....Jen is her Mommy....I only wanted to be her friend. She started calling me Momma, on that trip to Disneyland and then stopped and called me Lisa, up until two years ago, when she started calling me Momma again. Mariah is fourteen now!! She visits us every summer, from Texas, for two months. It's easy to tuck her into our lives and difficult to part with her, when her time with us is up. I remember, last year, as I watched her plane taxi out onto the runway, I wanted to run out onto the tarmac and make them turn around and give my baby back to me. When I watched the plane climb into the sky, I felt like a piece of me, a piece of my heart that I wanted and needed, was being torn away and thrown to the wind!! I don't remember walking through the terminal, back to the car!!
She got her own cell phone, this winter and now, we talk almost every day, either via text message or over the air. I want so much for her....she is not the flesh of my flesh and she is not the bone of my bone......she is the desire of my heart.
The day after tomorrow, we will go and pick her up from the airport. We will be a family again and all will be right in the world. Mark and I live for these next two months. Mariah is loved by our friends and our church family....she's basically spoiled to life and sweetly indulged in all the love and attention we can pay her. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for making me a momma to this young lady!! I'm proud of her and I watch in awe, as she grows into womanhood. Last year, when she came, I complimented her, on her manners.....She was just being very respectful to people and very polite and mannerly and I told her that I was proud, that she was learning good things from her mother and she said to me, "Mommy didn't teach me these manners, I learned them from you" That was the most significant compliment I've ever received in my entire life.....I just wanted to take this time and reflect on some of the things my daughter has meant to me, these past 10 years....the ways she's changed me. I am happy to be a stepmom, that my daughter opened her heart and gave me the opportunity to love her.
Well, it's another day of chores!! I'm cleaning my living room and bathroom and then going upstairs to attempt to scale clothesonthefloor mountain.....I guess I'll talk to you all, tomorrow.....Love as He loves !!
In Him,
Lisa
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