Conundrum

Who actually knows the meaning of this word?

I thought I did...turns out, I was way off base.

Miriam -Webster defines conundrum as an intricate and difficult problem.

I am in the midst of a conundrum! For some reason, over the past couple of weeks, I have been suffering with frequent panic attacks. I can't figure it out! Sure, I'm worried about the normal things poor people worry about....finances, Mark and his somewhat dangerous job, raising my daughter up to be a contributing and loving member of society....you know, normal stuff!!

I have been doing so well with improving my health and my attitude and here comes Satan, adding more gravy to my plate and it's not the fat free kind, either. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I mean old Stan does have a way of fighting hardest when a breakthrough is about to be made! When someone is about to add another brick of gold to our Heavenly Father's kingdom! I am gaining control of my mind, so that I'm turning to God instead of turning to food. I'm turning disobedience into victorious living, in the name of my Savior. So I say to you Stan, get thee behind me and just go back to the rock from which you crawled out from. In Jesus' name I warn you, get outta my way, cause my freight train is coming through.....

Panic, for me, comes on suddenly.....my heart begins to beat irregularly, it affects the way I breathe and the way I think. It takes over my mind, making me think I'm having a heart attack or helping me to believe that I am crazy, after all and what the heck kinda right does a crazy person have, living or at least trying so desperately to live, a normal life. Panic makes me want to run away and hide from the terror that's overtaken my mind....It makes me want to drop everything and flee....Luckily, they almost always happen at home, where I am contained and no one has to see me act like a complete loon....Praise the Lord for my incredibly patient husband, my loving sister and my very understanding daughter. They have held my hand through many a rough patch....More importantly, I am thankful to my friend Jesus, who hold my erratically beating human heart in Hands and the heart of my soul, close to His and whispers, 'Peace be still for I am with you'

Job 36:15-16.
But those who suffer He delivers in their suffering; He speaks to them in their affliction. He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction….

God is bigger than panic attacks and He's way bigger than Stan, that crafty snake!

I want to be delivered from the jaws of distress to a spacious place, free from affliction....He sets me free to run, through fields of laughter and to sing as though I have no yesterdays....and He sets me free from my befores and afters, from a debt I know I'll never come close to paying....When He sets me free to fly to soar to places I've not been before, the boundaries of humanity cannot contain what He sets free.....( I borrowed much of that last grossly run on sentence from Ms Sandy Patty....Thanks sister, you've always inspired me)

What I'm trying to convey is yes, I have a conundrum...but I also have a way of escape and His name is Jesus. I will not be destroyed...yes, I may have to wait and rest....but life's a climb, but the views great and I have the best of companions on my journey.....

Draw close to Him in your times of need, my friends. He's the only friend you'll ever have who will NEVER EVER leave you.....And when you cannot find your feet or your legs, He'll carry you in His everlasting arms....

The week is starting off a bit on the rocky side....I've been fighting an attack for a couple of hours and I am finally feeling some relief. Praise you, Jesus.

Well, I'd best be off to other things, Mark needs the computer and then I need to get us to bed. I love night shift, but at the end of the night, I'm rather poopered!!

Love each other as He loves....

Blessings in Him,
Lisa

PS Sorry about the irregular fonts....Blogger is being a booger.