Good Morning, blessed friends and family......
Guess what?
It's raining again! Whoo Hoo!! NOT!!
Don't get me wrong, I love the rain! But see, I have to go out and drive in it, today and if you want instant idiots, all you have to do is add water!! Thankfully, my errands are all in Sonora....I don't even wanna think about what it's like in the Valley or beyond! At least my list of errands is not lengthy....a trip to the Grocery Outlet and then a bit of shopping at one of my favorite thrift stores....Then I can come home and start my holiday baking.....At least my house will be warm, this afternoon.
Mariah was talking to her mom on the phone, yesterday and it was 80 degrees in her part of Texas and Mariah and I were both jealous! Then again, I think I'd rather have my amber hills and green grass over 80 degrees in winter, flat terrain and sagebrush, any day, thank-you very much.......
Christmas is almost here.....Is everybody ready? I'm not....but I will be and things will be good!! Mark is off work, on Friday and for the first time, in 10 1/2 years together, we won't have to rush and rush to get to Grams for our Christmas Eve gathering. That's going to be nice. For a lot of years, I worked retail at Christmas time and would watch people rush and rush.Christmas
should not be a time for rushing. It should be a time for touching home. The home of our youth, the home of our hearts and the home of our time yet to come.....The home of my youth, at Christmas time, was always busy.....My father loved to bake and at Christmas time, he did that a lot....The Christmas tree was always brightly lit. I remember waking up on Christmas Day and because our house was so small, I could look down the hall and see the reflection of the lights from the Christmas tree and I could hear Daddy laying a fire in the fireplace, so we would all be warm. That's when I knew it was okay to get up......Christmas time in the home of my heart is quite different.....Our house is still small....smaller even, than the house I grew up in. There is still much baking going on, in the days before Christmas, but we take things slower, around here. We don't like to rush and rush......When we were first married, we would drive to the Bay Area on Christmas Eve, celebrate and then drive all the way home, just to get up and do it all over again, on Christmas morning. We don't do that nowadays......We are content to celebrate with my family on Christmas Eve and then on Christmas Day, we hang around, here at home....we might go see a movie and then I cook a very traditional Christmas Dinner. We take the time to remember why we celebrate Christmas......the birth of a tiny baby, who would die to save us.....We give thanks for the ultimate gift of love, so freely given by God, just because He loves us and couldn't bear to live without us! I never treasured that gift as much as I do, now.....Christmas was about the tangible things we presented to one another...the useless frippery tied in pretty ribbons and colorful paper.....And Lord forbid if we didn't get what we wanted or asked for.......Back to the store, the next day! I've remembered what God did for us, on Christmas, since childhood....But I didn't treasure it until I saw "The Passion"....Seeing a real depiction of what Christ went through, as a human man meant for a divine purpose really struck me hard......I just never realized! It's now an honor, to get up, on Christmas morning and just say Thank-you Jesus, for coming to save me.....I am so not worthy, but thank-you for loving me, anyway.....Imagine, the love of God sent from paradise to live a human life, wrapped up in a tiny baby, cradled in a mother's arms.....protected by a human father.....How can you not celebrate this? I was helping my friend and her mother decorate their house, for Christmas, a few years back and I asked her why she didn't have a creche and she answered, telling me she liked to keep the religion out of Christmas.......Huh? I can't wait to spend a Christmas in Heaven. I'm going to sit on a cloud and listen to God sing.....I'm going to get to hear the angel choir, firsthand! No more useless frippery.....No more disappointed relatives.....No more nasty fruitcake!! I think Michael Card sums it up, for me....In his song "The Final Word"...makes me cry every time I hear it.....Here's the lyrics.....
You and me we use so very many clumsy words.
The noise of what we often say is not worth being heard.
When the Father's wisdom wanted to communicate His love,
He spoke it in one final perfect Word.
He spoke the incarnation, and then so was born a Son.
His final word was Jesus, He needed no other one.
Spoke flesh and blood so He could bleed and make a way Divine.
And so was born the baby who would die to make it mine.
And so the Father's fondest thought became flesh and bone.
He spoke the living luminous word, at once His will was done.
And so the transformation that in man had been unheard,
Took place in God the Father as he spoke that final Word.
And so the Light became alive and manna became Man.
Eternity stepped into time so we could understand.
Here's the YouTube link.....The video is kinda crummy, but turn the monitor off and listen to the song......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_idg5Xxy6kE
Powerful, powerful words....
Well the time is come and I must get on with my day.....I will post again, before Christmas, so no final wishes now.....
Go out in the rain, today.....Jump in a puddle....Dance....Feel the love of God, as it pours down from heaven and then go inside and drink a cup of hot cocoa......Love each other as He loves, smile much, laugh often and love completely.....
Have a great day,
In Him
Lisa
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
I'm dreamin' of a wet Christmas,
Just like the one we've got outside,
Where the tree tops'r drippin'
And the blacktop's a glisten'n
Because, it's rainin' cats and dogs......
(Yes, I made that up, all by myself....It's okay, you can laugh, I did)
Well, it's still raining outside!! At least, for the moment, the wind has died down! I love the rain, but I really don't care for the wind. Our house is on top of a hill and we really get whipped around, when the wind kicks up. It puts a damper on the holiday spirit, when you have to worry about chasing your garbage can lids around the neighborhood and having to go out and stand your mailbox up, for the umpteenth time, in the driving rain, just plain stinks.....I guess it's a trade off, though! We have almost zero crime, we have decent neighbors and we're surrounded by the splendor of green grass, tall trees and wildlife.....though if the local wildlife doesn't leave my basil plant alone, I'm seriously thinking depredation.....Really, listening to the wind literally roar, for three days straight kinda gets on my nerves! Right now, I'm thankful for the quiet and the morning and the rain.
Mark got out and on his way early, this morning.....Today starts two weeks of day shifts. He's out at Travis AFB, in Fairfield, learning something new......I can't remember what he said he was learning. He'll be there from 8 am til 2 pm! He loves his new job so so much!! I praise God for that, daily. He was working so hard, with the other job, with little recognition and his pay was so not commensurate with his skill and ability! He's stated time and time again, this is his dream job!
Mariah is off for Christmas Vacation, this week and I'm happy about that! I don't have to be alone, all day! Keep Mariah in your prayers, though.....Next week, she goes back to her mother and step-father in Texas. Her step-father is very hard on her, he teases her about her body and is very sarcastic and childish in his behavior. Our job, as parents, here in our home, has been to foster only positive attitudes towards our daughter. To teach her to be a kind and thoughtful woman....Strong and God fearing!! We only build her up and never ever tease or poke fun.....She has a good home here and we love her for who and what she is! Her family life, there in Texas was totally unsupervised and reprehensible. Thankfully, though, she'll only be gone for the week.....She leaves out on Monday the 27th of December and we'll pick her up at the airport, on New Years Day!
As for me, I am looking forward to getting things ready for our Christmas holiday.....We are going down to the Bay Area, on Christmas Eve, to celebrate, as we usually do, with my family, at my Grandma's....Christmas Day, we're going to hang out, here at home in the morning and then, in the afternoon, we'll go and see a movie....Mariah really wants to see Tangled, the new Disney movie. I don't care what we do, as long as we are together! I haven't started thinking on our Christmas Dinner menu......I figured Mariah and I could do that tomorrow, before we head to the grocery store.....My Christmas Eve baking isn't cemented in stone, either.....I need to talk to my Auntie Michelle to see what the plan is, for the evening.....I'll probably make a huge lasagna and then my usual cookie and brownie tray......My cousin Ginny has to have her snickerdoodles and a death sentence will be handed down if I don't produce Mint Filled Brownies for my sister......I'd really love it if my Uncle David and my Auntie Kay are there, on Christmas Eve.....Out of all of my Aunts and Uncles, they are my favorites!! They are special to me, in so many ways and Christmas Eve isn't as memorable, without them there! There always seems to be something missing!
It's kinda hard to believe that the year is almost gone! Where did the time go? Things have been wonderful, for us, this past year! We've struggled, but the struggles gave way to rejoicing and I'm so thankful! To stand at the fount of God's blessings, is one of the most satisfying places to be. When I look around, I see that we live in a little tiny house (love grows best in little houses) in a little tiny community (Where everybody knows your naaaaaame...) far away from our families (over the highway and through the slums, to grandmother's house we go) and we are happy! We are raising our daughter in a safe place.....We have fresh air and good land. We have the love of God, in abundance and are forever in His care and we have each other. So yes, I am happy, in my little house, where love grows......I am happy in my little community and I am used to everybody knowing my name.....I am happy living on a hill, where the wind whips and the rain comes down and the locals chew on my sadly pathetic basil plant......This is my Beulah!
My thoughts have been kinda all over the place, today.....I'm going to go back to bed and remedy that! Sleep is the best thing for a fractured mind!! Please forgive my mindless wandering and have a wonderful day.....Remember to love as He loves and be kind to one another.....Smile much, laugh often and love like there's no tomorrow......
I love you all, my blessed friends....
In Him,
Lisa
Just like the one we've got outside,
Where the tree tops'r drippin'
And the blacktop's a glisten'n
Because, it's rainin' cats and dogs......
(Yes, I made that up, all by myself....It's okay, you can laugh, I did)
Well, it's still raining outside!! At least, for the moment, the wind has died down! I love the rain, but I really don't care for the wind. Our house is on top of a hill and we really get whipped around, when the wind kicks up. It puts a damper on the holiday spirit, when you have to worry about chasing your garbage can lids around the neighborhood and having to go out and stand your mailbox up, for the umpteenth time, in the driving rain, just plain stinks.....I guess it's a trade off, though! We have almost zero crime, we have decent neighbors and we're surrounded by the splendor of green grass, tall trees and wildlife.....though if the local wildlife doesn't leave my basil plant alone, I'm seriously thinking depredation.....Really, listening to the wind literally roar, for three days straight kinda gets on my nerves! Right now, I'm thankful for the quiet and the morning and the rain.
Mark got out and on his way early, this morning.....Today starts two weeks of day shifts. He's out at Travis AFB, in Fairfield, learning something new......I can't remember what he said he was learning. He'll be there from 8 am til 2 pm! He loves his new job so so much!! I praise God for that, daily. He was working so hard, with the other job, with little recognition and his pay was so not commensurate with his skill and ability! He's stated time and time again, this is his dream job!
Mariah is off for Christmas Vacation, this week and I'm happy about that! I don't have to be alone, all day! Keep Mariah in your prayers, though.....Next week, she goes back to her mother and step-father in Texas. Her step-father is very hard on her, he teases her about her body and is very sarcastic and childish in his behavior. Our job, as parents, here in our home, has been to foster only positive attitudes towards our daughter. To teach her to be a kind and thoughtful woman....Strong and God fearing!! We only build her up and never ever tease or poke fun.....She has a good home here and we love her for who and what she is! Her family life, there in Texas was totally unsupervised and reprehensible. Thankfully, though, she'll only be gone for the week.....She leaves out on Monday the 27th of December and we'll pick her up at the airport, on New Years Day!
As for me, I am looking forward to getting things ready for our Christmas holiday.....We are going down to the Bay Area, on Christmas Eve, to celebrate, as we usually do, with my family, at my Grandma's....Christmas Day, we're going to hang out, here at home in the morning and then, in the afternoon, we'll go and see a movie....Mariah really wants to see Tangled, the new Disney movie. I don't care what we do, as long as we are together! I haven't started thinking on our Christmas Dinner menu......I figured Mariah and I could do that tomorrow, before we head to the grocery store.....My Christmas Eve baking isn't cemented in stone, either.....I need to talk to my Auntie Michelle to see what the plan is, for the evening.....I'll probably make a huge lasagna and then my usual cookie and brownie tray......My cousin Ginny has to have her snickerdoodles and a death sentence will be handed down if I don't produce Mint Filled Brownies for my sister......I'd really love it if my Uncle David and my Auntie Kay are there, on Christmas Eve.....Out of all of my Aunts and Uncles, they are my favorites!! They are special to me, in so many ways and Christmas Eve isn't as memorable, without them there! There always seems to be something missing!
It's kinda hard to believe that the year is almost gone! Where did the time go? Things have been wonderful, for us, this past year! We've struggled, but the struggles gave way to rejoicing and I'm so thankful! To stand at the fount of God's blessings, is one of the most satisfying places to be. When I look around, I see that we live in a little tiny house (love grows best in little houses) in a little tiny community (Where everybody knows your naaaaaame...) far away from our families (over the highway and through the slums, to grandmother's house we go) and we are happy! We are raising our daughter in a safe place.....We have fresh air and good land. We have the love of God, in abundance and are forever in His care and we have each other. So yes, I am happy, in my little house, where love grows......I am happy in my little community and I am used to everybody knowing my name.....I am happy living on a hill, where the wind whips and the rain comes down and the locals chew on my sadly pathetic basil plant......This is my Beulah!
My thoughts have been kinda all over the place, today.....I'm going to go back to bed and remedy that! Sleep is the best thing for a fractured mind!! Please forgive my mindless wandering and have a wonderful day.....Remember to love as He loves and be kind to one another.....Smile much, laugh often and love like there's no tomorrow......
I love you all, my blessed friends....
In Him,
Lisa
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
For the Love of a Momma's Girl.....
Good Evening, my web bound friends and relations.....
Yes, I know it's been far too long, but you know me, I tend to go in spurts.......A spurt here, a spurt there....It's all good, though, because I love you all, whether I'm blogging or not!
Let's catch up a bit, shall we?
Things have been a whirlwind of prayer and rejoicing, here in our home! Mark was laid off from the job he held for over eight years, on November 5th.....Yeah, I know, right before the holidays....that kinda stinks!! I, being the worrisome person that I am, nearly had a triple coronary! But God is faithful and His promises are real! My friend Heather posted on my facebook that where God closes the door, somewhere he opens a window.....a really sweet sentiment from a really wonderful woman of God. I prefer to think of it as God closing the window and opening a door.....A really important door! Mark was home for a month. It was a good month, because I got to have a lot of wonderful time with my husband. A luxury we didn't have, too often, when he was working at the other job. I complained about him being in my hair, but I wouldn't have missed the time, for the world. Well, we applied for Unemployment Benefits and got those, without any problem.....though on Unemployment, we were making over a thousand dollars less that what we were, before. Mark started calling a bunch of people he met, through the other job and found a company called AC3. Within three days, he was interviewed and hired.....Within a week, he was working and loving it. He's making better pay and has better benefits....He's absolutely loving his job and I am so proud of him!! I am also very thankful to my Heavenly Father, for seeing us through the hard times and not ever leaving us to fend for ourselves......Mark and I both clung to Romans 8:28.....believing that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives and our testimony.
Mark is doing really well....He's on the building committee at church and he's also serving as a trustee, too. Recently, he and another church member, painted the floor in the fellowship hall and it looks quite spiffy. He loves getting to spend quality time with Mariah.....
I celebrated another birthday.....I turned plenty-two, this year......Yeah, I went there, sue me!! Life as a wife and mother is really satisfying and enriching for me. I am just in love with my life and my Savior, who makes it all work together for good!! I am ecstatic about finally getting a washing machine....Mark's friend Mike's son moved into a new home and gave us the washer and dryer that were in the unit.....After not having a washing machine, in my house, for over 2 years, it's like a miracle has happened!! I can do one load at a time......Whoo Hoo!!
Mariah is awesome!! She's doing well in school and loves her friends, her church family and spending time with us. She is truly a joy to parent and a joy to watch as she blooms from childhood into womanhood.....I really do stand in awe of her, sometimes. Just when I think she's never listened to a thing I've said, she does something....uses one of my idioms or quotes me verbatim and I have to believe that she truly does belong with us. She's smart and beautiful and she has the sharpest brain, I have ever seen!! She did inform me, though, the she is going to wait til I'm 45, before she starts calling me "Geeze-ette" (the feminine of Geezer...a name she calls her father) and that's a load off of my mind!! Mariah will be going back to Texas, the week after Christmas....to spend New Years with her mother and crew. She's not thrilled with the idea, but she's taking it in stride.....I am glad her mother is going to home the entire week, as I don't think it's good for Mariah to be subject to the scathing nature of her step-father all alone.
With Christmas right on our heels, we are thankful and rejoicing with Him, fully and completely. Though there is little (if any) money to spend on gifts, this year, at least for Mark and myself, we are anxious to spend Christmas Eve in Castro Valley, at Grammy's house. Yes, Mark is getting paid, but all of our bills are behind, including our rent....Praise the Lord we have a wonderful Christian landlord, who is patient and understanding.....Loving even, with us!! While we won't have gifts to open, on Christmas Day, we have the love of each other and the love of our Heavenly Father, who gave us the ultimate gift.....So for us, this year....Christmas will come without packages, boxes or bags and like the Whos down in Whoville, we will still sing and we will still be thankful for the love came down......The true gift of Christmas.
So that's what's been happening, in the past few weeks/months.....
So on with the show.......I had the best dinner and conversation with the worlds best daughter this evening.....We talked about food, we talked about love and we talked about accepting ourselves and each other, without judgment or negativity......Mariah her Daddy's girl.....but she's fast becoming a Momma's Girl, too. Nothing could make me happier....not even winning the lotto!! I finally know what unconditional love feels like, tangibly! It brings to my mind, 1 John 4: 7 and 8......Beloved let us love one another, for love is of God and he who loves is born of God and knows God, for he who does not love does not know God for God is love......This is real unconditional love.....No pretenses, no rules and no guidelines.....It's either a 'you do' or 'you don't' type of situation. I love the simplicity of love, as portrayed in this verse. It's cut and dried, hands tied behind the back, truth....Either you love or you don't know God. Daily, I try to teach Mariah about love......but I blew it, this weekend, when I had an argument in front of her, with someone I never envisioned arguing with.....No, it wasn't Mark, she's used to seeing me argue with him.....What it showed me was that I need to stop putting self first and start putting love first......in discovering this and praying about it, it seems to me, that sometimes, I parade my love around with a clanging cymbal.....Wanting and needing everyone to see and notice, instead of just loving to the bottom of my heart, without any expectation of notice or recognition.....It is my vow to begin loving without pretension......without seeking recognition and just love like He loves....freely and unconditionally......No labor of love is in vain.
Well, our time together, at least in this place, is coming to a close....Please pray for me.....there will be no candlelight Christmas, for me this year and I'm completely torn up about that......I'm pretty much feeling like the song from "The Grinch" called 'Where are you Christmas?' There are just too many things left unsaid and I have to get right, before they can be.....Anyhoo, love each other the way He loves......
In Him,
Lisa
Yes, I know it's been far too long, but you know me, I tend to go in spurts.......A spurt here, a spurt there....It's all good, though, because I love you all, whether I'm blogging or not!
Let's catch up a bit, shall we?
Things have been a whirlwind of prayer and rejoicing, here in our home! Mark was laid off from the job he held for over eight years, on November 5th.....Yeah, I know, right before the holidays....that kinda stinks!! I, being the worrisome person that I am, nearly had a triple coronary! But God is faithful and His promises are real! My friend Heather posted on my facebook that where God closes the door, somewhere he opens a window.....a really sweet sentiment from a really wonderful woman of God. I prefer to think of it as God closing the window and opening a door.....A really important door! Mark was home for a month. It was a good month, because I got to have a lot of wonderful time with my husband. A luxury we didn't have, too often, when he was working at the other job. I complained about him being in my hair, but I wouldn't have missed the time, for the world. Well, we applied for Unemployment Benefits and got those, without any problem.....though on Unemployment, we were making over a thousand dollars less that what we were, before. Mark started calling a bunch of people he met, through the other job and found a company called AC3. Within three days, he was interviewed and hired.....Within a week, he was working and loving it. He's making better pay and has better benefits....He's absolutely loving his job and I am so proud of him!! I am also very thankful to my Heavenly Father, for seeing us through the hard times and not ever leaving us to fend for ourselves......Mark and I both clung to Romans 8:28.....believing that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives and our testimony.
Mark is doing really well....He's on the building committee at church and he's also serving as a trustee, too. Recently, he and another church member, painted the floor in the fellowship hall and it looks quite spiffy. He loves getting to spend quality time with Mariah.....
I celebrated another birthday.....I turned plenty-two, this year......Yeah, I went there, sue me!! Life as a wife and mother is really satisfying and enriching for me. I am just in love with my life and my Savior, who makes it all work together for good!! I am ecstatic about finally getting a washing machine....Mark's friend Mike's son moved into a new home and gave us the washer and dryer that were in the unit.....After not having a washing machine, in my house, for over 2 years, it's like a miracle has happened!! I can do one load at a time......Whoo Hoo!!
Mariah is awesome!! She's doing well in school and loves her friends, her church family and spending time with us. She is truly a joy to parent and a joy to watch as she blooms from childhood into womanhood.....I really do stand in awe of her, sometimes. Just when I think she's never listened to a thing I've said, she does something....uses one of my idioms or quotes me verbatim and I have to believe that she truly does belong with us. She's smart and beautiful and she has the sharpest brain, I have ever seen!! She did inform me, though, the she is going to wait til I'm 45, before she starts calling me "Geeze-ette" (the feminine of Geezer...a name she calls her father) and that's a load off of my mind!! Mariah will be going back to Texas, the week after Christmas....to spend New Years with her mother and crew. She's not thrilled with the idea, but she's taking it in stride.....I am glad her mother is going to home the entire week, as I don't think it's good for Mariah to be subject to the scathing nature of her step-father all alone.
With Christmas right on our heels, we are thankful and rejoicing with Him, fully and completely. Though there is little (if any) money to spend on gifts, this year, at least for Mark and myself, we are anxious to spend Christmas Eve in Castro Valley, at Grammy's house. Yes, Mark is getting paid, but all of our bills are behind, including our rent....Praise the Lord we have a wonderful Christian landlord, who is patient and understanding.....Loving even, with us!! While we won't have gifts to open, on Christmas Day, we have the love of each other and the love of our Heavenly Father, who gave us the ultimate gift.....So for us, this year....Christmas will come without packages, boxes or bags and like the Whos down in Whoville, we will still sing and we will still be thankful for the love came down......The true gift of Christmas.
So that's what's been happening, in the past few weeks/months.....
So on with the show.......I had the best dinner and conversation with the worlds best daughter this evening.....We talked about food, we talked about love and we talked about accepting ourselves and each other, without judgment or negativity......Mariah her Daddy's girl.....but she's fast becoming a Momma's Girl, too. Nothing could make me happier....not even winning the lotto!! I finally know what unconditional love feels like, tangibly! It brings to my mind, 1 John 4: 7 and 8......Beloved let us love one another, for love is of God and he who loves is born of God and knows God, for he who does not love does not know God for God is love......This is real unconditional love.....No pretenses, no rules and no guidelines.....It's either a 'you do' or 'you don't' type of situation. I love the simplicity of love, as portrayed in this verse. It's cut and dried, hands tied behind the back, truth....Either you love or you don't know God. Daily, I try to teach Mariah about love......but I blew it, this weekend, when I had an argument in front of her, with someone I never envisioned arguing with.....No, it wasn't Mark, she's used to seeing me argue with him.....What it showed me was that I need to stop putting self first and start putting love first......in discovering this and praying about it, it seems to me, that sometimes, I parade my love around with a clanging cymbal.....Wanting and needing everyone to see and notice, instead of just loving to the bottom of my heart, without any expectation of notice or recognition.....It is my vow to begin loving without pretension......without seeking recognition and just love like He loves....freely and unconditionally......No labor of love is in vain.
Well, our time together, at least in this place, is coming to a close....Please pray for me.....there will be no candlelight Christmas, for me this year and I'm completely torn up about that......I'm pretty much feeling like the song from "The Grinch" called 'Where are you Christmas?' There are just too many things left unsaid and I have to get right, before they can be.....Anyhoo, love each other the way He loves......
In Him,
Lisa
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Breakfast with Mark
Good Morning Friends, Neighbors and Countrymen...lend me your ears.
Starting the day with one on one quiet time with my hunny is something I haven't done in a very long time. Taking that time to reconnect as partners and friends meant the world to me, this morning. Mark took the day off work, today, so that he wouldn't be late for Mariah's back to school night function, tonight. We got up together, this morning, when he could have just as easily stayed in bed and let me get up to see our daughter off to school.....but he got up too!! After she left, he asked me for coffee and breakfast. So I made him some sausage and french toast and coffee and we sat at the kitchen table and took our meal together. I honestly loved spending the time with Mark. It made me feel loved and special...needed and appreciated. It felt good to begin the day, at the table, with Mark, meeting his needs and allowing him to meet mine.
It's a beautiful day out, today.....I am wondering if I can get the love of my life to take a walk with me, or something, just to get out of the house, for a time....Maybe get some exercise. He's asleep on the couch right now and the fresh mountain air would do him good! I'm glad he gets to rest a little bit extra, this week. He works so hard, to support us. I am so proud of the man of God he has become.
I had another great day yesterday....I overdid it at dinner, with my calories, but I asked for forgiveness and I forgave myself and today is a whole new day. I am really good at being negative with myself and I need to change that. Yesterday is gone....no matter how much I try, I will never ever be able to go back and change another thing about it. I can only go forward, learn from my mistakes and try again, today!! I'm not giving up....
Well, I had better git to the housework. It's not going to clean itself. I'm sorry that it's short today...I haven't a lot to say....My challenge to you, today is to tell someone three things you are thankful for....and I'll tell you mine, right now.....
1. I am thankful for Mariah's hair all over the bathroom sink, because she is here and not in Texas.
2. I am thankful for Mark's snoring, because he is beside me and not somewhere else.
3. I am thankful for dirty dishes because I have had the opportunity to serve my family and warm them from the inside.
Tell someone you love them today.....It means so much to hear it.
Love like He loves....
Blessings in Him,
Lisa
Starting the day with one on one quiet time with my hunny is something I haven't done in a very long time. Taking that time to reconnect as partners and friends meant the world to me, this morning. Mark took the day off work, today, so that he wouldn't be late for Mariah's back to school night function, tonight. We got up together, this morning, when he could have just as easily stayed in bed and let me get up to see our daughter off to school.....but he got up too!! After she left, he asked me for coffee and breakfast. So I made him some sausage and french toast and coffee and we sat at the kitchen table and took our meal together. I honestly loved spending the time with Mark. It made me feel loved and special...needed and appreciated. It felt good to begin the day, at the table, with Mark, meeting his needs and allowing him to meet mine.
It's a beautiful day out, today.....I am wondering if I can get the love of my life to take a walk with me, or something, just to get out of the house, for a time....Maybe get some exercise. He's asleep on the couch right now and the fresh mountain air would do him good! I'm glad he gets to rest a little bit extra, this week. He works so hard, to support us. I am so proud of the man of God he has become.
I had another great day yesterday....I overdid it at dinner, with my calories, but I asked for forgiveness and I forgave myself and today is a whole new day. I am really good at being negative with myself and I need to change that. Yesterday is gone....no matter how much I try, I will never ever be able to go back and change another thing about it. I can only go forward, learn from my mistakes and try again, today!! I'm not giving up....
Well, I had better git to the housework. It's not going to clean itself. I'm sorry that it's short today...I haven't a lot to say....My challenge to you, today is to tell someone three things you are thankful for....and I'll tell you mine, right now.....
1. I am thankful for Mariah's hair all over the bathroom sink, because she is here and not in Texas.
2. I am thankful for Mark's snoring, because he is beside me and not somewhere else.
3. I am thankful for dirty dishes because I have had the opportunity to serve my family and warm them from the inside.
Tell someone you love them today.....It means so much to hear it.
Love like He loves....
Blessings in Him,
Lisa
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Good Morning, Sunshine!!
Okay, so it's Tuesday and here I am, in my cave, writing to you, my beloved friends.......
Again, I am home bound today and happy about it. Firstly, because I am still getting used to having to control myself around food.....and secondly, because I just don't feel like going anywhere. It's one of those biologically female days for me....not my best days, for sure. I did well, yesterday!! I was faithful to my program and I kept to my calorie goal of 1500....Actually, I was under by 30 or so calories. I learned, yesterday, that a bag of Orville Reddenbacher Smart Pop Kettle Corn has only 20 calories for the entire bag!! Whoo Hoo, snack food!! I learned that I can sit and watch TV without stuffing something in my mouth, in the evening. I learned that when I am productive, I feel accomplished and seeing the look on Mark's face, when he walks in the door to a freshly cleaned home and a plate of hot dinner, after work, is worth more than a day at Disneyland....Yeah, I went there!! (with that statement, not Disneyland, though I would like to go) I was happy with the choices I made and I'm looking forward to giving my diabetes back and flushing all of my pills, when I reach my lifegoal.
So this morning, I had two fried eggs (fried no stick with cal free spray) and two pieces of whole wheat toast with Smart Balance and a cup of decaf with creamer (chemical cow) and a shot of sugar free Almond Roca syrup. I had 370 calories for breakfast and I feel really good about that. God is a great weight loss partner....lemme warn ya, though, when you're partners with someone who knows EVERYTHING? Ya pretty much have to listen to what He says.....and then ya gotta do what He says. I know that God loves me and that when my stomach growls and I ignore it or when I feel like I cannot go another minute without that scoop of ice cream,but abstain anyway that is God, reminding me that He loves me. Yes, I said reminding me....When I want something and deny myself, because He's said NO, then it's victory for me....and I feel it as victory. I know that He's said NO, because He loves me and wants the best for me and for my life. You see, the food means nothing.....It cannot dry my tears or make me feel better about myself. It cannot keep me company or love me when I feel unloved.....It cannot comfort me, when I am hurting and IT CANNOT FORGIVE MY SIN. It's just food!! I have placed food in the place of my King, because all of the things that food cannot do, God, my Heavenly Loving Father, can and does. He's promised to meet me in my faith and persevere with me, til the work is done. Philippians 1:6 (New King James Version)6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; He is able, my friends, He is able.....
So today, I am having my coffee and my quiet time and I loooooove the scriptures of 1st and 2nd Chronicles....lots of really good life lessons, there. God has really just impressed on me, this scripture, from 1st Chronicles....Consider now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong [in the power of His might] and do the work. (I Chronicles 28:10) So I read and I read again and I consider and I consider again......
Remember what I said about being partners with someone who knows EVERYTHING? Well that would apply here.....I need to build a temple.....Huh? Obviously Father, you've forgotten about my mad skills with the hammer and why no one will let me have one, anymore.....I really can't build a sandwich without making a big mess....What do you mean, build a temple? Ohhh I get it...build my temple....my temple of the Holy Spirit.....The next part of the verse brought me to tears....."Be strong in the power of His might and do the work" No mincing words there....Looks pretty straight forward to me.....So, You and me, Lord....and thinking back to the eighth chapter of the book of Romans....If God is before me, who can come against me? TWINKIES?? Get thee behind me!! MC DONALD'S DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS?? In Him, I am stronger!! Lemme stop before this becomes a bitter diatribe, with me, rebuking all of my favorite foods....That would take waaaaaaaay too long. I needed to hear those things today and I'm hoping that this will help another person, today, to chose life and victory over food.....Faith is the victory, food just tastes good!!
So another day of domestic bliss and blessedness for me.....I am hoping that all is well in your corner of the sky, today. I'd like to say Thank-you to my awesome friend Laura, who left me comments on yesterday's blog.....You are a great encouragement to me, my sister!! I would like to challenge each of you who read this, to look for something sent specifically for you, today, from God.
Love each other as He loves.....
Blessings in Him....
Lisa
Again, I am home bound today and happy about it. Firstly, because I am still getting used to having to control myself around food.....and secondly, because I just don't feel like going anywhere. It's one of those biologically female days for me....not my best days, for sure. I did well, yesterday!! I was faithful to my program and I kept to my calorie goal of 1500....Actually, I was under by 30 or so calories. I learned, yesterday, that a bag of Orville Reddenbacher Smart Pop Kettle Corn has only 20 calories for the entire bag!! Whoo Hoo, snack food!! I learned that I can sit and watch TV without stuffing something in my mouth, in the evening. I learned that when I am productive, I feel accomplished and seeing the look on Mark's face, when he walks in the door to a freshly cleaned home and a plate of hot dinner, after work, is worth more than a day at Disneyland....Yeah, I went there!! (with that statement, not Disneyland, though I would like to go) I was happy with the choices I made and I'm looking forward to giving my diabetes back and flushing all of my pills, when I reach my lifegoal.
So this morning, I had two fried eggs (fried no stick with cal free spray) and two pieces of whole wheat toast with Smart Balance and a cup of decaf with creamer (chemical cow) and a shot of sugar free Almond Roca syrup. I had 370 calories for breakfast and I feel really good about that. God is a great weight loss partner....lemme warn ya, though, when you're partners with someone who knows EVERYTHING? Ya pretty much have to listen to what He says.....and then ya gotta do what He says. I know that God loves me and that when my stomach growls and I ignore it or when I feel like I cannot go another minute without that scoop of ice cream,but abstain anyway that is God, reminding me that He loves me. Yes, I said reminding me....When I want something and deny myself, because He's said NO, then it's victory for me....and I feel it as victory. I know that He's said NO, because He loves me and wants the best for me and for my life. You see, the food means nothing.....It cannot dry my tears or make me feel better about myself. It cannot keep me company or love me when I feel unloved.....It cannot comfort me, when I am hurting and IT CANNOT FORGIVE MY SIN. It's just food!! I have placed food in the place of my King, because all of the things that food cannot do, God, my Heavenly Loving Father, can and does. He's promised to meet me in my faith and persevere with me, til the work is done. Philippians 1:6 (New King James Version)6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ; He is able, my friends, He is able.....
So today, I am having my coffee and my quiet time and I loooooove the scriptures of 1st and 2nd Chronicles....lots of really good life lessons, there. God has really just impressed on me, this scripture, from 1st Chronicles....Consider now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong [in the power of His might] and do the work. (I Chronicles 28:10) So I read and I read again and I consider and I consider again......
Remember what I said about being partners with someone who knows EVERYTHING? Well that would apply here.....I need to build a temple.....Huh? Obviously Father, you've forgotten about my mad skills with the hammer and why no one will let me have one, anymore.....I really can't build a sandwich without making a big mess....What do you mean, build a temple? Ohhh I get it...build my temple....my temple of the Holy Spirit.....The next part of the verse brought me to tears....."Be strong in the power of His might and do the work" No mincing words there....Looks pretty straight forward to me.....So, You and me, Lord....and thinking back to the eighth chapter of the book of Romans....If God is before me, who can come against me? TWINKIES?? Get thee behind me!! MC DONALD'S DOUBLE CHEESEBURGERS?? In Him, I am stronger!! Lemme stop before this becomes a bitter diatribe, with me, rebuking all of my favorite foods....That would take waaaaaaaay too long. I needed to hear those things today and I'm hoping that this will help another person, today, to chose life and victory over food.....Faith is the victory, food just tastes good!!
So another day of domestic bliss and blessedness for me.....I am hoping that all is well in your corner of the sky, today. I'd like to say Thank-you to my awesome friend Laura, who left me comments on yesterday's blog.....You are a great encouragement to me, my sister!! I would like to challenge each of you who read this, to look for something sent specifically for you, today, from God.
Love each other as He loves.....
Blessings in Him....
Lisa
Monday, August 30, 2010
Why I Love Mondays!
Good Monday Morning, my sweet Webbies!!
Well here I sit, on another lovely Monday morning, praising God that I have breath and life and hope!! Last week was rough for me, but I will not be moved!! I love Mondays!! I love Mondays because it's the beginning of a whole new week, the slate is clean and I am alone with my thoughts and feelings.....I love my family....I love their noise and their energy on the weekends, but Monday, for me, is like a breath of fresh air. I can sit at my computer, in the living room with my cup of coffee and write, without listening to the television. I don't have to play referee between my 14 year old child and my 47 year old child. Monday is the day when I plan my week. Though this week is going to be uneventful, I am happy to be able to have the time to take care of the things I have been putting off, in my home and in my life.
I have been putting off going back on a sensible eating plan. I know that this is the only way that I am going to be able to live a long and healthy life. The big question always is....Which plan do I choose? I never try and make a decision without the input of my Heavenly Father. I had been doing well with The Atkins Diet, but when I quit smoking, back in October, my body just refused to give up another single pound to Dr. Atkins and started keeping the pounds for itself!! Weight Watchers is a great program, but too liberal for me, with foods....I need regimentation and I need a fixed point of control. I even went to the clinic doc, up at our clinic and he told me that starvation might work for me.......NOT!! Last week, while Mariah was in counseling with Pastor Dave, I was rooting around in my car, for something to read and I came across a book that I'd forgotten I had. It's called The Diabetes Weight Loss System....Written by 3 doctors, specifically for people with Type 2 diabetes. I started reading it and it felt really good to know that I didn't need to restrict myself to a specific food ideation. I can eat carbohydrates, fruits and breads as long as I control my portions. In order to lose weight, you have to eat less and move more and that's how simple it really is. I have been making things really difficult for myself, when it really is just that simple. All these diets that say you shouldn't count calories or fat grams.....what a bunch of hooey!! Part of my issue with food is my inability to take responsibility for my eating....the food becomes a stronghold and I am a slave, within those walls, to food, rebellion, gluttony, slothfulness, disobedience, self hatred, loathing and finally, death. So today, I started the basic plan....1500 recorded calories a day.....I have to keep a food journal and I have to be accountable for my choices.....This morning, for breakfast, I had a cup of decaf with creamer and sweetener, I had a half of a bagel spread with Smart Balance spread and I had a large plum...a perfect start to the day with 305 calories. As soon as I'm done with my coffee and my blogging, I'm going to go and dance in my kitchen, with my MP3 player.....Keep me in your prayers, my friends, I could really use them.
Mariah is doing really well, in school. She loves her high school and is making new friends, every day. I am proud of her verve and her moxie. She continues to amaze me, everyday with her awesomeness and her strength. Her mother made it sound like she had behavior issues, warning us of her smart sassy mouth and her temper(uhhhh Duh!! She's 14??).....She hasn't shown me in any way shape or form, that she's got any behavior issues. She fits us like a kid glove and we've tucked her quite nicely, into our lives.....We are a family and we're happy. Mariah is continuing to grow strong in her faith and God is walking her through, day by day. That's all I can really ask for, as a mother and a friend.....Lord, lead her on to a place where the river runs into Your keeping!! All I've ever wanted was to be Mariah's friend, but honestly, right now, I look at her and am amazed at my own feelings. The love that God has given me, for Mariah is as complete as if she had indeed, come from my body. She never grew under my heart, but she did grow in it.
Well, I think that's about it, for now!! I've got some housework to do and some other fun stuff that needs getting done, so I'm going to close for now....I'm thinking about you, my friends and I pray that the Lord makes Himself known to you, today in an amazing and powerful way!!
Love each other as He loves....
Blessings in Him,
Lisa
Well here I sit, on another lovely Monday morning, praising God that I have breath and life and hope!! Last week was rough for me, but I will not be moved!! I love Mondays!! I love Mondays because it's the beginning of a whole new week, the slate is clean and I am alone with my thoughts and feelings.....I love my family....I love their noise and their energy on the weekends, but Monday, for me, is like a breath of fresh air. I can sit at my computer, in the living room with my cup of coffee and write, without listening to the television. I don't have to play referee between my 14 year old child and my 47 year old child. Monday is the day when I plan my week. Though this week is going to be uneventful, I am happy to be able to have the time to take care of the things I have been putting off, in my home and in my life.
I have been putting off going back on a sensible eating plan. I know that this is the only way that I am going to be able to live a long and healthy life. The big question always is....Which plan do I choose? I never try and make a decision without the input of my Heavenly Father. I had been doing well with The Atkins Diet, but when I quit smoking, back in October, my body just refused to give up another single pound to Dr. Atkins and started keeping the pounds for itself!! Weight Watchers is a great program, but too liberal for me, with foods....I need regimentation and I need a fixed point of control. I even went to the clinic doc, up at our clinic and he told me that starvation might work for me.......NOT!! Last week, while Mariah was in counseling with Pastor Dave, I was rooting around in my car, for something to read and I came across a book that I'd forgotten I had. It's called The Diabetes Weight Loss System....Written by 3 doctors, specifically for people with Type 2 diabetes. I started reading it and it felt really good to know that I didn't need to restrict myself to a specific food ideation. I can eat carbohydrates, fruits and breads as long as I control my portions. In order to lose weight, you have to eat less and move more and that's how simple it really is. I have been making things really difficult for myself, when it really is just that simple. All these diets that say you shouldn't count calories or fat grams.....what a bunch of hooey!! Part of my issue with food is my inability to take responsibility for my eating....the food becomes a stronghold and I am a slave, within those walls, to food, rebellion, gluttony, slothfulness, disobedience, self hatred, loathing and finally, death. So today, I started the basic plan....1500 recorded calories a day.....I have to keep a food journal and I have to be accountable for my choices.....This morning, for breakfast, I had a cup of decaf with creamer and sweetener, I had a half of a bagel spread with Smart Balance spread and I had a large plum...a perfect start to the day with 305 calories. As soon as I'm done with my coffee and my blogging, I'm going to go and dance in my kitchen, with my MP3 player.....Keep me in your prayers, my friends, I could really use them.
Mariah is doing really well, in school. She loves her high school and is making new friends, every day. I am proud of her verve and her moxie. She continues to amaze me, everyday with her awesomeness and her strength. Her mother made it sound like she had behavior issues, warning us of her smart sassy mouth and her temper(uhhhh Duh!! She's 14??).....She hasn't shown me in any way shape or form, that she's got any behavior issues. She fits us like a kid glove and we've tucked her quite nicely, into our lives.....We are a family and we're happy. Mariah is continuing to grow strong in her faith and God is walking her through, day by day. That's all I can really ask for, as a mother and a friend.....Lord, lead her on to a place where the river runs into Your keeping!! All I've ever wanted was to be Mariah's friend, but honestly, right now, I look at her and am amazed at my own feelings. The love that God has given me, for Mariah is as complete as if she had indeed, come from my body. She never grew under my heart, but she did grow in it.
Well, I think that's about it, for now!! I've got some housework to do and some other fun stuff that needs getting done, so I'm going to close for now....I'm thinking about you, my friends and I pray that the Lord makes Himself known to you, today in an amazing and powerful way!!
Love each other as He loves....
Blessings in Him,
Lisa
Friday, August 27, 2010
Four Generations
I changed the picture on my blog, this morning.....My cousin Ginny posted this picture on her facebook page, last night....I don't have any pictures of myself, growing up, my mother and father have them all, so this picture is really important to me....In the picture is my grandmother (Helen Magda Hertlein Millen) on the top left, my mother(Kathleen Nancy Millen Levno) on the top right and on the bottom, my great-grandmother(Magda Hedwig Nutsch Hertlein) holding me (Lisa Michele Levno Anderson).....Yes, I was that small at one time.....
I know I haven't written in many months...I've been getting the house settled. With Mariah living with us, now, we had some changes to make and some opportunities to conquer, but things are settling now. I am in a good place. God is on His throne and all is well, with the world. Well, my world, at least.
Mariah came to stay, technically for the summer only on June 5. She was due to go home on August 3rd. She decided she wanted to stay forever and live here and that was a big surprise. Her daddy was as proud as anything and I am happy to be able to parent my daughter in person, as opposed to doing it over a cell phone or text messages. She's fit into our groove with absolutely no complications or issues. For a teenage girl, she is a joy to parent. Her mother, on the other hand, didn't take things so very well and there were some things said and done that are going to take time and the love of God, to fix. God is in control though and I am in awe of the things He is doing in Mariah's life and in the life of our family.....
Well, I've got to get to HRC and pick up our produce for this next two weeks....Our Human Resources Council of Calaveras County, in partnership with our local growers, gives away produce to all who are willing to take it, ever other Friday....It's been a huge blessing to us and we are thankful for it. Anyhoo, I'll try and write a bit more, when I return....
Love each other as He loves,
Blessings,
Lisa
I know I haven't written in many months...I've been getting the house settled. With Mariah living with us, now, we had some changes to make and some opportunities to conquer, but things are settling now. I am in a good place. God is on His throne and all is well, with the world. Well, my world, at least.
Mariah came to stay, technically for the summer only on June 5. She was due to go home on August 3rd. She decided she wanted to stay forever and live here and that was a big surprise. Her daddy was as proud as anything and I am happy to be able to parent my daughter in person, as opposed to doing it over a cell phone or text messages. She's fit into our groove with absolutely no complications or issues. For a teenage girl, she is a joy to parent. Her mother, on the other hand, didn't take things so very well and there were some things said and done that are going to take time and the love of God, to fix. God is in control though and I am in awe of the things He is doing in Mariah's life and in the life of our family.....
Well, I've got to get to HRC and pick up our produce for this next two weeks....Our Human Resources Council of Calaveras County, in partnership with our local growers, gives away produce to all who are willing to take it, ever other Friday....It's been a huge blessing to us and we are thankful for it. Anyhoo, I'll try and write a bit more, when I return....
Love each other as He loves,
Blessings,
Lisa
Thursday, June 3, 2010
In My Daughter's Eyes......
On My Daughter's Eyes-Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero,
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see,
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
This song means so much to me.....I always wanted to be a mom...to raise children of my own, but God had other plans for my life. Though I didn't end up with children of my own, I ended up with a beautiful blessing, sent straight from God. Mark's daughter Mariah, has been in my life since she was four years old. I don't know how many of you have ever been a stepmom. We don't have the best of reputations....We don't have the easiest of jobs, either. It's been about three years now, that Mariah and I have been close. Mark and I had about six months of rough in 2007 and it was then, that Mariah really started to warm to me. I did a lot of changing in those six months as well and that could have been the harbinger for the changes in our relationship. One of the best memories I have of Mariah, in the early years of her life is when she was five. I took her (along with my sister and my niece) to Disneyland, in November. They had just started doing Christmas things at Disneyland and we got to see the Christmas fireworks. After the fireworks, they played "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and it "snowed" on Main Street I picked Mariah up and we danced in the "snow"and then she laid her head on my shoulder and said "I really love you, Momma"....That was the day I began to feel real!! If you don't know what I mean by feeling real, read this: http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html...Things haven't been easy for Mariah and I....These kind of relationships are seldom easy. I have always told her that I didn't want to be her Mommy....Jen is her Mommy....I only wanted to be her friend. She started calling me Momma, on that trip to Disneyland and then stopped and called me Lisa, up until two years ago, when she started calling me Momma again. Mariah is fourteen now!! She visits us every summer, from Texas, for two months. It's easy to tuck her into our lives and difficult to part with her, when her time with us is up. I remember, last year, as I watched her plane taxi out onto the runway, I wanted to run out onto the tarmac and make them turn around and give my baby back to me. When I watched the plane climb into the sky, I felt like a piece of me, a piece of my heart that I wanted and needed, was being torn away and thrown to the wind!! I don't remember walking through the terminal, back to the car!!
She got her own cell phone, this winter and now, we talk almost every day, either via text message or over the air. I want so much for her....she is not the flesh of my flesh and she is not the bone of my bone......she is the desire of my heart.
The day after tomorrow, we will go and pick her up from the airport. We will be a family again and all will be right in the world. Mark and I live for these next two months. Mariah is loved by our friends and our church family....she's basically spoiled to life and sweetly indulged in all the love and attention we can pay her. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for making me a momma to this young lady!! I'm proud of her and I watch in awe, as she grows into womanhood. Last year, when she came, I complimented her, on her manners.....She was just being very respectful to people and very polite and mannerly and I told her that I was proud, that she was learning good things from her mother and she said to me, "Mommy didn't teach me these manners, I learned them from you" That was the most significant compliment I've ever received in my entire life.....I just wanted to take this time and reflect on some of the things my daughter has meant to me, these past 10 years....the ways she's changed me. I am happy to be a stepmom, that my daughter opened her heart and gave me the opportunity to love her.
Well, it's another day of chores!! I'm cleaning my living room and bathroom and then going upstairs to attempt to scale clothesonthefloor mountain.....I guess I'll talk to you all, tomorrow.....Love as He loves !!
In Him,
Lisa
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero,
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see,
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
This song means so much to me.....I always wanted to be a mom...to raise children of my own, but God had other plans for my life. Though I didn't end up with children of my own, I ended up with a beautiful blessing, sent straight from God. Mark's daughter Mariah, has been in my life since she was four years old. I don't know how many of you have ever been a stepmom. We don't have the best of reputations....We don't have the easiest of jobs, either. It's been about three years now, that Mariah and I have been close. Mark and I had about six months of rough in 2007 and it was then, that Mariah really started to warm to me. I did a lot of changing in those six months as well and that could have been the harbinger for the changes in our relationship. One of the best memories I have of Mariah, in the early years of her life is when she was five. I took her (along with my sister and my niece) to Disneyland, in November. They had just started doing Christmas things at Disneyland and we got to see the Christmas fireworks. After the fireworks, they played "I'll Be Home For Christmas" and it "snowed" on Main Street I picked Mariah up and we danced in the "snow"and then she laid her head on my shoulder and said "I really love you, Momma"....That was the day I began to feel real!! If you don't know what I mean by feeling real, read this: http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html...Things haven't been easy for Mariah and I....These kind of relationships are seldom easy. I have always told her that I didn't want to be her Mommy....Jen is her Mommy....I only wanted to be her friend. She started calling me Momma, on that trip to Disneyland and then stopped and called me Lisa, up until two years ago, when she started calling me Momma again. Mariah is fourteen now!! She visits us every summer, from Texas, for two months. It's easy to tuck her into our lives and difficult to part with her, when her time with us is up. I remember, last year, as I watched her plane taxi out onto the runway, I wanted to run out onto the tarmac and make them turn around and give my baby back to me. When I watched the plane climb into the sky, I felt like a piece of me, a piece of my heart that I wanted and needed, was being torn away and thrown to the wind!! I don't remember walking through the terminal, back to the car!!
She got her own cell phone, this winter and now, we talk almost every day, either via text message or over the air. I want so much for her....she is not the flesh of my flesh and she is not the bone of my bone......she is the desire of my heart.
The day after tomorrow, we will go and pick her up from the airport. We will be a family again and all will be right in the world. Mark and I live for these next two months. Mariah is loved by our friends and our church family....she's basically spoiled to life and sweetly indulged in all the love and attention we can pay her. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for making me a momma to this young lady!! I'm proud of her and I watch in awe, as she grows into womanhood. Last year, when she came, I complimented her, on her manners.....She was just being very respectful to people and very polite and mannerly and I told her that I was proud, that she was learning good things from her mother and she said to me, "Mommy didn't teach me these manners, I learned them from you" That was the most significant compliment I've ever received in my entire life.....I just wanted to take this time and reflect on some of the things my daughter has meant to me, these past 10 years....the ways she's changed me. I am happy to be a stepmom, that my daughter opened her heart and gave me the opportunity to love her.
Well, it's another day of chores!! I'm cleaning my living room and bathroom and then going upstairs to attempt to scale clothesonthefloor mountain.....I guess I'll talk to you all, tomorrow.....Love as He loves !!
In Him,
Lisa
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Submission? YES!!
Good Monday Afternoon, my faithful webbies!! I am wishing you much joy and much peace this afternoon....I am in a good place. I spent a lot of time, honestly communicating with Mark yesterday and I believe we are finally on the same page!! To tell you the truth, I don't think I could get any happier....Well, maybe if I were taken up in the rapture, right now, that might make me happier.....Father deliver me from dirty dishes and having to bake bread, today!! Seriously, I have been trying to get Mark to step into the dominant husband/household leader role for three years now and at last, we have come to the conclusion that I would be a much happier and productive wife if he were more insistent and I was more submissive.....I grew up with very dominant parents. I learned to be submissive, subservient even, to my father, especially. My father was an "I say jump and you say how high" man. I learned that domination meant security,comfort and a sense of well-being. Now, as a wife, having to be "on my own" so to speak has made me feel very chaotic and ineffective. I finally realized yesterday, that the reason I feel doubtful sometimes of the sincerity and validity of my husband's profession of feeling to me has to do with the fact that he is reluctant to take hold of my submission and be insistent. He refuses, in my eyes to take authority over my actions and my habits, so he can't possibly care for me, as much as he says. I promised to obey (You bet your sweet bippy, I did!!) and yet he gives me no rules, in which to frame that obedience. My scripture for today is Ephesians 5: 21-33
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,b]">[b] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”c]">[c] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
This is a glorious and sweet testament to how men and women should be living and loving, within the confines of their marriages. I believe that the breakdown of most of the marriages, in the US, is due to the fact that men are letting their wives run things and women have little to no respect for their husbands. Our husbands are to nourish our love and cherish our submission. Loving someone means being concerned about their well being and building them up through instruction. It also means correction and discipline when expectations are not met. I'm not talking about anything that resembles abuse or slavery! That's not love. I want Mark to understand that my submission to him, as the leader of our marriage is a huge deal!! It's a gift!! It's what I need to feel nourished and cherished. It means that he values me enough to treat me like Christ treats the church. In return, I am to submit to him in ALL things, obey and respect him. Respect means to have a positive feeling of esteem towards another person and then the carrying out of actions and conduct representative to that esteem. Believe it or not, we wives were not created as equals, to our husbands. God made Adam in His OWN IMAGE. He made Eve as a companion, to compliment Adam. I am not equal to Mark.....Physically, we are different, we think and feel differently....Why should I begin to even think that I can compete with God's original plan for a man and a woman? How is it that I can justify the subversion of God's will for (and His word regarding the dynamics of) my marriage by taking on the roll of "the boss"? On both fronts, I cannot!! So last night, I began truly submitting my will and my self, to my husband and let me tell you, the feeling of relief and blessing is amazing!! I feel the peace that passes understanding, because by submitting to Mark in all things, I am being obedient to God. I can't say that I expect everyone to understand or agree with me, people will interpret God's word individually......But this works for us!! Mark called, a few minutes ago, to check on me....to see what I was doing!! The former me would see this as being an intrusion on my day...and indication that he didn't trust me to do what needed to be done and I would have treated him brusquely, rudely even!! He sounded so happy and so proud of the fact that I was doing as he instructed and that in turn, made me proud that I was pleasing him.
Well, the afternoon is slipping away and I still have dishes to wash and bread to make, so I must be getting on, to get all that fun stuff done. I also have to get a casserole for dinner made and set the table and I still have other chores. Mariah will be with us now, in three days!! I'm excited to have her with us, this summer. I am also excited that our movie, Eclipse will be out in 28 days!!I know there are some of you that don't understand our interest in these books/movies, but we're supporting our daughter and taking an interest in what she enjoys and that's important. I love the love story and the special effects in the movies are really great!! At first, I didn't want anything to do with the series....Then my daughter cornered me and pulled the "have an open mind" card on me....That card is a sensitive issue for me, because I swore that I would always have an open mind with my children and not be so regimented and closed minded as my parents were......So here we are!! Well anyhoo, I've drawled on forever today and I have chores to finish!! I love you all and look forward to meeting up with you soon!! Love like He loves!!
In Him,
Lisa
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body,b]">[b] of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”c]">[c] 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
This is a glorious and sweet testament to how men and women should be living and loving, within the confines of their marriages. I believe that the breakdown of most of the marriages, in the US, is due to the fact that men are letting their wives run things and women have little to no respect for their husbands. Our husbands are to nourish our love and cherish our submission. Loving someone means being concerned about their well being and building them up through instruction. It also means correction and discipline when expectations are not met. I'm not talking about anything that resembles abuse or slavery! That's not love. I want Mark to understand that my submission to him, as the leader of our marriage is a huge deal!! It's a gift!! It's what I need to feel nourished and cherished. It means that he values me enough to treat me like Christ treats the church. In return, I am to submit to him in ALL things, obey and respect him. Respect means to have a positive feeling of esteem towards another person and then the carrying out of actions and conduct representative to that esteem. Believe it or not, we wives were not created as equals, to our husbands. God made Adam in His OWN IMAGE. He made Eve as a companion, to compliment Adam. I am not equal to Mark.....Physically, we are different, we think and feel differently....Why should I begin to even think that I can compete with God's original plan for a man and a woman? How is it that I can justify the subversion of God's will for (and His word regarding the dynamics of) my marriage by taking on the roll of "the boss"? On both fronts, I cannot!! So last night, I began truly submitting my will and my self, to my husband and let me tell you, the feeling of relief and blessing is amazing!! I feel the peace that passes understanding, because by submitting to Mark in all things, I am being obedient to God. I can't say that I expect everyone to understand or agree with me, people will interpret God's word individually......But this works for us!! Mark called, a few minutes ago, to check on me....to see what I was doing!! The former me would see this as being an intrusion on my day...and indication that he didn't trust me to do what needed to be done and I would have treated him brusquely, rudely even!! He sounded so happy and so proud of the fact that I was doing as he instructed and that in turn, made me proud that I was pleasing him.
Well, the afternoon is slipping away and I still have dishes to wash and bread to make, so I must be getting on, to get all that fun stuff done. I also have to get a casserole for dinner made and set the table and I still have other chores. Mariah will be with us now, in three days!! I'm excited to have her with us, this summer. I am also excited that our movie, Eclipse will be out in 28 days!!I know there are some of you that don't understand our interest in these books/movies, but we're supporting our daughter and taking an interest in what she enjoys and that's important. I love the love story and the special effects in the movies are really great!! At first, I didn't want anything to do with the series....Then my daughter cornered me and pulled the "have an open mind" card on me....That card is a sensitive issue for me, because I swore that I would always have an open mind with my children and not be so regimented and closed minded as my parents were......So here we are!! Well anyhoo, I've drawled on forever today and I have chores to finish!! I love you all and look forward to meeting up with you soon!! Love like He loves!!
In Him,
Lisa
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Day by Day.......
It's late on Sunday evening and I'm sitting here in contemplation. A lot of you know that my favorite hymn is Day by Day. I have loved this song since my Nazarene days. We sang it today, in church and the last part of the second verse really really hit me; Brought me to tears. Last week, we mailed a necklace to Mariah.....A necklace that had been anointed with oil, blessed and prayed over by our pastoral team. Pastor Fred warned us that we would be up for attack from the enemy, once that necklace was placed in Mariah's hand. She received her necklace on Monday and on Tuesday, the attack began.....My toe became badly infected with cellulitis. On Thursday, Mark's car broke down...yesterday, Mark discovered that the car is going to need more repair than he thought. Please my brothers and sisters, pray for us as we put on the armor of Christ and fight the enemy for our daughter's soul. Anyhoo, as I was standing up on the pulpit singing, God hit me with it, head on. Sweetly broken and wholly surrendered, I wept, for my daughter, for our coming battles and with joy, because my Heavenly Father gives me so much more than I deserve!! The protection of His child and treasure Is a charge that on Himself He laid;“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”This the pledge to me He made. No words meant more to me, than these, today. The promise that God will protect us and strengthen us, while we persevere through this time, is mind-blowing. I have the promise, I have the faith......I HAVE THE VICTORY!!! When the devil came after me, wanting to steal, kill and destroy my marriage, I fought and I won!! I will fight for my daughter and I will win. Hear that devil? You will not win!! You might as well just get thee behind me, right now, give up and save us both the time!!! I'm trusting God to deliver her, just like He delivered Mark and I.
Well, one more day of this long weekend and I am happy to have a little extra time with Mark. He works so much and during the week, I miss him. Having the extra time to spend with him is worth so much to me!! The extra rest will be good for him. We have issues, during the week, with getting enough rest. If he would just admit that I'm right and go to bed when I tell him to, then things would be fine, right??? And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you, at a really great price!! Getting Mark to go to bed is like trying to reason with my fourteen year old.....All he hears is Blah Blah BlaBlaBlah......I wish he was more like our dog....a biscuit or a handful of Cheez-Its and he'd do anything I ask.......No, really, I try to be quiet and gentle with Mark, well at least sometimes....I love Mark and I only want to protect him from getting overtired. He sees it as me being naggy and controlling......We've agreed to disagree.....Like I said, if he'd just realize that I'm right.......Oh forget it and stop rolling your eyes, I know as well as you that the chances of that happening is as slight as Obama suddenly becoming an ultra-right conservative republican....Tell me another fable, Aesop!!
So I better git!! It's near on to time to retire for the evening and fall asleep to mind-numbing repeats of Hannah Montana (seriously, stop laughing....I find most network TV, vile and repulsive) I love you everybody and have a wonderful evening and a happy Memorial day!
In Him
Lisa
Well, one more day of this long weekend and I am happy to have a little extra time with Mark. He works so much and during the week, I miss him. Having the extra time to spend with him is worth so much to me!! The extra rest will be good for him. We have issues, during the week, with getting enough rest. If he would just admit that I'm right and go to bed when I tell him to, then things would be fine, right??? And if you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you, at a really great price!! Getting Mark to go to bed is like trying to reason with my fourteen year old.....All he hears is Blah Blah BlaBlaBlah......I wish he was more like our dog....a biscuit or a handful of Cheez-Its and he'd do anything I ask.......No, really, I try to be quiet and gentle with Mark, well at least sometimes....I love Mark and I only want to protect him from getting overtired. He sees it as me being naggy and controlling......We've agreed to disagree.....Like I said, if he'd just realize that I'm right.......Oh forget it and stop rolling your eyes, I know as well as you that the chances of that happening is as slight as Obama suddenly becoming an ultra-right conservative republican....Tell me another fable, Aesop!!
So I better git!! It's near on to time to retire for the evening and fall asleep to mind-numbing repeats of Hannah Montana (seriously, stop laughing....I find most network TV, vile and repulsive) I love you everybody and have a wonderful evening and a happy Memorial day!
In Him
Lisa
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Happy Memorial Day weekend!!
Well folks, it's Saturday.....Memorial Day weekend......We had errands to do this afternoon, so we went to Sonora and picked up Meds at Walmart....bought cat food and litter and then Mark took me to lunch at Togos......I enjoyed my sammie and then enjoyed my hunny!! Then we had to go to Angels Camp, to pick up a Chiltons at Kragen and then we came home. Mark is now working on his car and I just finished a fic called Under the Apple Tree, on fanfic.net. The language was a little more harsh than what I like, but the pretense of the story demonstrates how the things we do to our children when they are young will affect them for the rest of their lives and make them into who they ultimately become, as adults. I am proud of who I am, as an adult!! I have the most noble job.....I am a wife and seasonal Momma. I am proud of my anti-Women's lib beliefs. I am most certainly proud of my submissive/servant heart and my passion for serving those I love. I am proud of my good brain and I'm proud of my voice.....these are both spirit gifts from my Heavenly Father. I am proud of my ability to parent and nurture my daughter. I would like to have a more quiet and gentle spirit, but sometimes, you can't always get what you want, right?? I don't have anything quiet or gentle, about me......Anyhoo, all the things I am most proud of, the things I see as good about me, were never modeled in my life.....I had to LEARN THEM ON MY OWN!! I had to learn them from God, when my marriage fell into quicksand and my world fell apart. God put people in my life to teach me and love me back into the Kingdom. My brother Pastor Dave Kinney, who sat for countless hours, listening to us bicker, wading theough my tears and giving us the tools to live a good life. Charlyne Steincamp who send me daily devotionals, my sister Karen Diaz, who let me cry and prayed for and with me, when I needed it. My neighbor Linda Harvey who was there to make sure I didn't hurt myself. My best friend Darcie, who refused to take sides and was supportive of me, when everyone turned their backs on me, after I decided to stay and fight for my marriage. My best friend Rosemary who was there, just to love me and support me and in a lot of ways, Mark's ex-girlfriend thing, Terri, for showing Mark what a "good Christian woman" was not!!!.....God not only showed me the right road, but he gave me the shoes that would get me there.....Now, Mark and I are members of the best Southern Baptist Church in the Mother Lode. I sing in choir and I'm a soloist, with fans!! I work in the kitchen, every time there is a potluck or dinner, which I absolutely love. My God has completely brought me 360....He's given me the true desires of my heart...... I have a close knit group of the most awesome sisters in Christ that you could ever find.....I have an amazing God inspired husband, who has his own ministry, within the church and is daily becoming what God wants him to be as a husband, father and provider......I am in love with my life and with my home and my faith and my Jesus, my duty and my husband. I know it seems as though we have nothing.....most of the time, that would be the case.....But in God's eyes, we are so very rich!!~
Well it's getting on to be that time of day and my hunny's going to be wanting some dinner.....It'll probably be hot dogs......I know, yay!! (seriously, stop rolling your eyes)
Mariah will be here in less than a week and I am so excited to spend nearly two whole months with my daughter. She is growing up so quickly.....I am anxious to see life through her eyes, if even just for a moment......Better is one day in Your courts, Better is one day in your house, better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere......Love each other as He loves.....
In Him
Lisa
Well it's getting on to be that time of day and my hunny's going to be wanting some dinner.....It'll probably be hot dogs......I know, yay!! (seriously, stop rolling your eyes)
Mariah will be here in less than a week and I am so excited to spend nearly two whole months with my daughter. She is growing up so quickly.....I am anxious to see life through her eyes, if even just for a moment......Better is one day in Your courts, Better is one day in your house, better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere......Love each other as He loves.....
In Him
Lisa
Friday, May 28, 2010
Another Beautiful Friday!!
Yes, I am still alive!! I have been rather lazy in blog roll duties, these past few weeks.....Well, now that I think of it catatonia has more energy than I. We went to Joseph and Rosemary's wedding, last weekend. It was just beautiful...I though, looked like a cyanotic dreidle in my bridesmaids dress. Albeit a rather large cyanotic dreidel. Anyhow, after the rehearsal dinner, on Friday night (we rode with Pastor Dave and Jill over to the restaurant from the rehearsal site) and whilst getting back into the back of Pastors crew cab, Mark slammed the door on my foot. And after I stopped screaming....... it didn't hurt for too long, but I didn't notice the little cut on my second toe and by Tuesday, it was infected with cellulitis!! So it was off to pay another wonderful visit to Dr. Hallat, at the clinic and show him my boo boo, request a 10 day supply of bactrim and hear how I need to lose some weight (Duhr, I have mirrors in my house and I'm not blind yet!!Delusional maybe, but not blind) This time, he was touting some sort of "One step up from Starvation" diet.....I think sometimes that old man just likes yanking my chord) He did though, renew my scrips for a year.....Whoo Hoo.....I had to miss choir practice on Wednesday and I wasn't happy about that. I love my time with my choir brothers and sisters. I'm still a hopeless windbag and consummate smart mouth and I still enjoy an hour or two of verbal sparring mixed with my music. Pastor Dave sent me email, though with the new song that they learned Love the Lord by Lincoln Brewster......What a song!! He also let me know that he'd chosen one of my favorite Hymns.....Day by Day, which right now, seems to describe my entire existence!! Day by Day and with each passing moment, faith I find to meet my trials here!! Last Wednesday Pastor also gave me a demo of a new song he wants to sing with me, in the future (Who'da thunk little ole me would ever be singing duets with Pastor??) This will be our 4th song together....the first was No Wonder...Easter 2009...the second, Strange Way to Save the World Christmas 2010, the third, I've Just Seen Jesus Easter 2010......I am so blessed and honored to sing with such an amazing brother and friend. I am even more blessed to have the gift of song. For those of you who just joined the party and don't know....I quit smoking 7 months ago, after smoking for 22 years....and I quit cold turkey.....seeeeee....my God is REAL!!! That's helped my voice tremendously.....I went from a raspy Kathy Troccoli to a lower range Sandi Patty......I sing mostly soprano in our choir, but sometimes I sing harmony with Pammie.
Mark and I are doing great!! I can't imagine ever loving another man as much as I love him. He was, is and always will be God's plan for my life. I praise the Lord daily for the love of my blessed husband and I just keep falling more and more in love with the man of God, he's becoming....We will celebrate 10 years together, on August 6.....
In a week and a day, our pride and joy will be with us for the summer, once more!! We pick Mariah, just before 10 pm at Oakland Airport on Saturday June 5th. Mark's promised to take me to Bancheros for dinner, before we pick her up and I'm so very happy about that.....My baby girl is growing into a fine young lady!! She is not flesh of my flesh, not bone of my bone, but desire of my heart and I (sniff,sniff) praise God everyday for her. We talk via e-mail or (more frequently) by text message, every single day!! I never knew I could love her this much, but I do.....
Anyhoo, I am not doing anything exciting, this weekend!! Laundry!! Listening to Mark curse,trying to repair his car and church on Sunday. I just now remembered, it's a three day weekend!!! Great!!! More time for Mark to fix my honey do's!! More time for Mark to get some rest!! That's what's important!! Well, I guess I should actually try and get something constructive done today......Love each other as He loves and I'll talk to ya soon!!
In Him,
Lisa
Mark and I are doing great!! I can't imagine ever loving another man as much as I love him. He was, is and always will be God's plan for my life. I praise the Lord daily for the love of my blessed husband and I just keep falling more and more in love with the man of God, he's becoming....We will celebrate 10 years together, on August 6.....
In a week and a day, our pride and joy will be with us for the summer, once more!! We pick Mariah, just before 10 pm at Oakland Airport on Saturday June 5th. Mark's promised to take me to Bancheros for dinner, before we pick her up and I'm so very happy about that.....My baby girl is growing into a fine young lady!! She is not flesh of my flesh, not bone of my bone, but desire of my heart and I (sniff,sniff) praise God everyday for her. We talk via e-mail or (more frequently) by text message, every single day!! I never knew I could love her this much, but I do.....
Anyhoo, I am not doing anything exciting, this weekend!! Laundry!! Listening to Mark curse,trying to repair his car and church on Sunday. I just now remembered, it's a three day weekend!!! Great!!! More time for Mark to fix my honey do's!! More time for Mark to get some rest!! That's what's important!! Well, I guess I should actually try and get something constructive done today......Love each other as He loves and I'll talk to ya soon!!
In Him,
Lisa
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Just Another Day in The Neighborhood!!
It's Wednesday, It's Wednesday!! Happy Wednesday all!! I actually went back to bed, after Mark left, so I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning....I might even get something done today!! Yesterday was a good day.....I had ice cream with Gloria after counseling with Pastor Dave and it was a lot of fun.....My time with Pastor Dave went well. I've been in pastoral counseling for three years now and I thought I'd gotten it all figured out!! It's usually when you think you've got it all figured out that the enemy peels back another layer of the onion and there's a whole other issue to deal with.....Turns out, I don't have it all figured out, after all. It's okay though....Pastor is good at helping me and I'm thankful to God for the closeness I have with my Pastor...I am completely comfortable talking honestly about what I think and feel.....Next to my Mark and my daughter Mariah, Rosemary and Gloria, Pastor Dave and Jill, his wife are my best friends.....I am blessed!! My family may not think of me fondly, but God has provided me with a wealth of other family who love and care for Mark and I, it's just the best feeling.
Today, I have choir practice and another pow wow with Pastor Dave and Pastor Fred...and Mark, too. Next week, I have to go to Fresno on Monday, for the final dress fitting and then Mark and I will go on Friday afternoon, down to Fresno for Joe and Rosemary's wedding...Pastor Dave and Jill are going too, Pastor Dave is officiating the wedding. I am a Bridesmaid....for the first time in my life, so I am quite excited!! I have been waiting to be a bridesmaid for a lot of years.....I love wearing fancy dresses.
I am quite happy for my best friend Rosemary!! She's found a good man in Joe and they honestly seem very happy together. I have known Rosemary since 1980 and we have been best friends since 1981.....We went to Junior High School together. In 8th grade, I had to sit next to her in first period Math.....We had Mr. Goulding as our teacher. She used to hit me with her neck scarf....Rosemary wanted to be a cheerleader that year, too, so I had to sit there and listen to her do her "cheers" and then, when she tried out, she did a kick and her shoe came off and flew across the gym.....She didn't make cheerleader......All through my teenage, young adult and adult life, Rosemary has been there for me......We had a few rough spots....due to other friends that were jealous of our closeness and tried their level best to make sure we hated one another. But we always seem to find our way back!! Rosemary's older sister Lisa is also my good friend and her mother has always been like a second mother to me....I'm truly thankful to God, for Rosemary and her precious family......I am so very blessed. Joe and Rosemary are going to have a wonderful life. It's my hope and prayer that they will know only joy, in their lives and that every day will be filled with love, hope and understanding. I'm so proud of you Ro.....you've done a fantastic job of growing up!! I'm so very happy to call you my best friend.
I have decided to go back to a low carbohydrate approach to eating. I am just too hungry with "normal" eating and I feel like junk. (Stop rolling your eyes and don't think I can't see you....I'm a mom, I see everything) My blood sugar is out of control too and I desperately need to get that back under control. The Atkins Foundation has another book out, so I thought I'd buy it on eBay when I can afford it....See what kind of changes they've made to the program.....
So I'm going to make Barbequed Chicken with Marinated Cauliflower and green salad for dinner tonight. I might even fry up some cheese sticks, while I'm at it!! I finally remembered to buy new oil for my deep fryer, when we were at Smart and Final, on Sunday. I took the old oil out of the fryer, yesterday and it was nasty!! Thankfully, I haven't used it, in a while. Now that the weather is warming up, I'm going to have to strain and drain the oil every time I use the fryer. I don't want it to get rancid. In the winter, I leave the oil in the fryer. We don't have central heat, so I can get away with that. This is the way I make my Mozzarella Cheese Sticks.....They are low carb and very good!! I cut my whole milk mozzarella cheese into sticks and beat two eggs together in a bowl. I put some dried shredded parmesan cheese in another bowl and add whatever seasonings I want. I coat each stick of cheese with egg and then with cheese. I put them on a wire rack and put the rack in the freezer. After they've frozen I take them out and I repeat the procedure. If they are coated enough after the second freezing, I'll cook them. If not, they get another tar and feather and another set in the freezer. Then I heat my fryer to 350 and deep fry them til their brown. I serve them with low carb mustard sauce. This is the same procedure I use for making chicken strips too....Mark and I just love them. Mark gave me my deep fryer for Christmas and I absolutely love it!!
Well, I guess that's all I have to say for today!! Not very interesting I know....but what can I say, I can't have an exciting life, everyday!! It would end up dull and boring and mundane.....
Anyhoo.....Love each other as He loves and I'll see y'all tomorrow......
In Him,
Lisa
Today, I have choir practice and another pow wow with Pastor Dave and Pastor Fred...and Mark, too. Next week, I have to go to Fresno on Monday, for the final dress fitting and then Mark and I will go on Friday afternoon, down to Fresno for Joe and Rosemary's wedding...Pastor Dave and Jill are going too, Pastor Dave is officiating the wedding. I am a Bridesmaid....for the first time in my life, so I am quite excited!! I have been waiting to be a bridesmaid for a lot of years.....I love wearing fancy dresses.
I am quite happy for my best friend Rosemary!! She's found a good man in Joe and they honestly seem very happy together. I have known Rosemary since 1980 and we have been best friends since 1981.....We went to Junior High School together. In 8th grade, I had to sit next to her in first period Math.....We had Mr. Goulding as our teacher. She used to hit me with her neck scarf....Rosemary wanted to be a cheerleader that year, too, so I had to sit there and listen to her do her "cheers" and then, when she tried out, she did a kick and her shoe came off and flew across the gym.....She didn't make cheerleader......All through my teenage, young adult and adult life, Rosemary has been there for me......We had a few rough spots....due to other friends that were jealous of our closeness and tried their level best to make sure we hated one another. But we always seem to find our way back!! Rosemary's older sister Lisa is also my good friend and her mother has always been like a second mother to me....I'm truly thankful to God, for Rosemary and her precious family......I am so very blessed. Joe and Rosemary are going to have a wonderful life. It's my hope and prayer that they will know only joy, in their lives and that every day will be filled with love, hope and understanding. I'm so proud of you Ro.....you've done a fantastic job of growing up!! I'm so very happy to call you my best friend.
I have decided to go back to a low carbohydrate approach to eating. I am just too hungry with "normal" eating and I feel like junk. (Stop rolling your eyes and don't think I can't see you....I'm a mom, I see everything) My blood sugar is out of control too and I desperately need to get that back under control. The Atkins Foundation has another book out, so I thought I'd buy it on eBay when I can afford it....See what kind of changes they've made to the program.....
So I'm going to make Barbequed Chicken with Marinated Cauliflower and green salad for dinner tonight. I might even fry up some cheese sticks, while I'm at it!! I finally remembered to buy new oil for my deep fryer, when we were at Smart and Final, on Sunday. I took the old oil out of the fryer, yesterday and it was nasty!! Thankfully, I haven't used it, in a while. Now that the weather is warming up, I'm going to have to strain and drain the oil every time I use the fryer. I don't want it to get rancid. In the winter, I leave the oil in the fryer. We don't have central heat, so I can get away with that. This is the way I make my Mozzarella Cheese Sticks.....They are low carb and very good!! I cut my whole milk mozzarella cheese into sticks and beat two eggs together in a bowl. I put some dried shredded parmesan cheese in another bowl and add whatever seasonings I want. I coat each stick of cheese with egg and then with cheese. I put them on a wire rack and put the rack in the freezer. After they've frozen I take them out and I repeat the procedure. If they are coated enough after the second freezing, I'll cook them. If not, they get another tar and feather and another set in the freezer. Then I heat my fryer to 350 and deep fry them til their brown. I serve them with low carb mustard sauce. This is the same procedure I use for making chicken strips too....Mark and I just love them. Mark gave me my deep fryer for Christmas and I absolutely love it!!
Well, I guess that's all I have to say for today!! Not very interesting I know....but what can I say, I can't have an exciting life, everyday!! It would end up dull and boring and mundane.....
Anyhoo.....Love each other as He loves and I'll see y'all tomorrow......
In Him,
Lisa
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Staying Home, Hugs and Small Victories
Happy Tuesday, friends.....
Well, here I am, working on my second cup of decaf...having already eaten my breakfast (a whole french toast bagel) I'm liking this Weight Watchers thing!! As long as I'm honest and accountable, I can pretty much eat whatever I want, as long as I stay within my points limit. I love my morning coffee....and I HATE putting any sort of liquid dairy product in it..I love the taste of powdered non dairy creamer in my coffee....Chemical Cow!! With Atkins, you can't use chemical cow, only heavy cream...so I stopped drinking morning coffee. I just didn't like the taste. With Weight Watchers, chemical cow is zero points....Whoo hoo!! The resurrection of morning coffee!!! Also, a few months back, I discovered a company called Walden Farms. They make condiment type things....ketchup, salad dressings, peanut spread, jams, barbeque sauces.....the really great thing about this company is that their products are all sugar free, fat free and calorie free!! It takes some getting used to....the taste, that is, but everything I've tried, is pretty good!! It's nice to be able to eat ranch dressing on a salad and not have to worry about counting the points. The products are all on the pricey side....but to me, it's all worth it!! I get mine at The Country Store, in Sonora......Raley's carries some of the products, too.
This past Sunday, Pastor preached on the value of biblical Christian womanhood. I was quite happy with this sermon, as it touches a special place in my heart and was also a very big answer to prayer. Most of you who know me, I mean, really know me, know that I am a big proponent of having a true servant's heart and the importance of biblical submission in marriage. I am a submissive wife and I am proud of that!! I'm not saying that I'm perfect at it....sometimes, I down right suck at submitting and I really would just like Mark to understand that I want my way and that's that. I am a work in progress and I praise the Lord for that, daily. I do not hold the same equality, in God's eyes, as my husband and that's okay!! I kind of like having my own place in the kingdom. I like feeling protected and cared for, by Mark and I like him to feel the comfort and peace that he is taken care of as well, when he is here, in our home, with me. Okay on with the point, I'm getting off track. Well, like a lot of folks, these days, Mark and I struggle financially.....We aren't destitute, but we have to plan and be careful with our money. I have been throwing the idea around, in my mind, of going out and finding some part time work, to go ahead and supplement our income....I've been praying for guidance about this and I really feel that through Pastor Dave, my prayers were answered and God truly spoke to me. My place is here, in my home, supporting my husband and seasonally, my daughter, as only a wife and mother can. That my job is to be servant and caretaker to my home and family and that we need to lean on He, not on dollar signs, to meet our needs. I have the peace that passes all understanding now....Now, I have found my joy and the joy of the Lord is my strength.
Have you noticed how we shy away from touch now? We don't touch each other, anymore.....Are we afraid that a simple touch would be showing weakness? Are we afraid of germs? Are we afraid, period? I love to hug people!! All kinds of people!! Little people, big people, old people, young people, baby people...dogs, cats......and I like getting hugs, too!! My sister in Christ, Laura gives the best hugs....she hugs with her soul and I'm so very thankful for those hugs. My sister in Christ, Gloria gives great hugs.....My best friend Rosemary give wonderful hugs and my Mark gives the bestest hugs.....I have to think of the times when I have been broken and hurting.....when those hugs have been lifelines to and from God. How would my life be, if I never experienced those touches? What kind of person would I be? I shudder to even think. How would I feel if I had never shared anyone's joy by giving them a hug? I would feel empty and alone. Touch is important, for us, as Christians and as humans. It binds us together and keeps us unified. It warms us and makes us feel as if we are a part of some bigger picture. It heals and nourishes our spirits. Unfortunately, in this seemingly disposable, clinical, sanitary world, we are not encouraged to touch each other!! We might catch something or pass something along.....We might get cooties or something......It's all a bunch of hooey!! If you want to make a difference in someone's life, right now, today, reach out and touch them.....Shake their hand...give them a hug....Trust me, that selfless act of kindness might just change someone else's life for the better......
I have as small victory as of late, that has really impacted my life. So much so, that I have to tell you about it. I want to say, first, though that God is the force behind this victory, not me.....I am just the empty vessel who asked for a blessing and was then filled with it!! On October 28th of last year, I quit smoking.....I smoked for 22 years and gave it up, cold turkey!! It's been 6 months and I am so very proud of myself and so very thankful to God, for being my rock and my fortress. I feel great!! I quit, by holding God's hand through it all. I didn't need a patch or some mind altering drug or some sort of peculiar tasting gum.....I did it with God!! I haven't picked it up since and God has really blessed me with a total disgust for the whole smoking thing....It smells nasty and I can't believe I did that for so long!! I can laugh now, without coughing.....I can walk up my stairs and not feel like I'm trying to breathe underwater. I can taste my food!! Whoo Hoo what a blessing!! Nothing is impossible, when you put your trust in God, Nothing is impossible when you're trusting in His Word....Hearken to the voice of God to thee; Is there anything too hard for me? So put your trust in God alone and rest upon His Word, For Everything, oh everything, yes everything is possible with God.
Have a great day everyone and love each other as He loves!!
In Him
Lisa
Well, here I am, working on my second cup of decaf...having already eaten my breakfast (a whole french toast bagel) I'm liking this Weight Watchers thing!! As long as I'm honest and accountable, I can pretty much eat whatever I want, as long as I stay within my points limit. I love my morning coffee....and I HATE putting any sort of liquid dairy product in it..I love the taste of powdered non dairy creamer in my coffee....Chemical Cow!! With Atkins, you can't use chemical cow, only heavy cream...so I stopped drinking morning coffee. I just didn't like the taste. With Weight Watchers, chemical cow is zero points....Whoo hoo!! The resurrection of morning coffee!!! Also, a few months back, I discovered a company called Walden Farms. They make condiment type things....ketchup, salad dressings, peanut spread, jams, barbeque sauces.....the really great thing about this company is that their products are all sugar free, fat free and calorie free!! It takes some getting used to....the taste, that is, but everything I've tried, is pretty good!! It's nice to be able to eat ranch dressing on a salad and not have to worry about counting the points. The products are all on the pricey side....but to me, it's all worth it!! I get mine at The Country Store, in Sonora......Raley's carries some of the products, too.
This past Sunday, Pastor preached on the value of biblical Christian womanhood. I was quite happy with this sermon, as it touches a special place in my heart and was also a very big answer to prayer. Most of you who know me, I mean, really know me, know that I am a big proponent of having a true servant's heart and the importance of biblical submission in marriage. I am a submissive wife and I am proud of that!! I'm not saying that I'm perfect at it....sometimes, I down right suck at submitting and I really would just like Mark to understand that I want my way and that's that. I am a work in progress and I praise the Lord for that, daily. I do not hold the same equality, in God's eyes, as my husband and that's okay!! I kind of like having my own place in the kingdom. I like feeling protected and cared for, by Mark and I like him to feel the comfort and peace that he is taken care of as well, when he is here, in our home, with me. Okay on with the point, I'm getting off track. Well, like a lot of folks, these days, Mark and I struggle financially.....We aren't destitute, but we have to plan and be careful with our money. I have been throwing the idea around, in my mind, of going out and finding some part time work, to go ahead and supplement our income....I've been praying for guidance about this and I really feel that through Pastor Dave, my prayers were answered and God truly spoke to me. My place is here, in my home, supporting my husband and seasonally, my daughter, as only a wife and mother can. That my job is to be servant and caretaker to my home and family and that we need to lean on He, not on dollar signs, to meet our needs. I have the peace that passes all understanding now....Now, I have found my joy and the joy of the Lord is my strength.
Have you noticed how we shy away from touch now? We don't touch each other, anymore.....Are we afraid that a simple touch would be showing weakness? Are we afraid of germs? Are we afraid, period? I love to hug people!! All kinds of people!! Little people, big people, old people, young people, baby people...dogs, cats......and I like getting hugs, too!! My sister in Christ, Laura gives the best hugs....she hugs with her soul and I'm so very thankful for those hugs. My sister in Christ, Gloria gives great hugs.....My best friend Rosemary give wonderful hugs and my Mark gives the bestest hugs.....I have to think of the times when I have been broken and hurting.....when those hugs have been lifelines to and from God. How would my life be, if I never experienced those touches? What kind of person would I be? I shudder to even think. How would I feel if I had never shared anyone's joy by giving them a hug? I would feel empty and alone. Touch is important, for us, as Christians and as humans. It binds us together and keeps us unified. It warms us and makes us feel as if we are a part of some bigger picture. It heals and nourishes our spirits. Unfortunately, in this seemingly disposable, clinical, sanitary world, we are not encouraged to touch each other!! We might catch something or pass something along.....We might get cooties or something......It's all a bunch of hooey!! If you want to make a difference in someone's life, right now, today, reach out and touch them.....Shake their hand...give them a hug....Trust me, that selfless act of kindness might just change someone else's life for the better......
I have as small victory as of late, that has really impacted my life. So much so, that I have to tell you about it. I want to say, first, though that God is the force behind this victory, not me.....I am just the empty vessel who asked for a blessing and was then filled with it!! On October 28th of last year, I quit smoking.....I smoked for 22 years and gave it up, cold turkey!! It's been 6 months and I am so very proud of myself and so very thankful to God, for being my rock and my fortress. I feel great!! I quit, by holding God's hand through it all. I didn't need a patch or some mind altering drug or some sort of peculiar tasting gum.....I did it with God!! I haven't picked it up since and God has really blessed me with a total disgust for the whole smoking thing....It smells nasty and I can't believe I did that for so long!! I can laugh now, without coughing.....I can walk up my stairs and not feel like I'm trying to breathe underwater. I can taste my food!! Whoo Hoo what a blessing!! Nothing is impossible, when you put your trust in God, Nothing is impossible when you're trusting in His Word....Hearken to the voice of God to thee; Is there anything too hard for me? So put your trust in God alone and rest upon His Word, For Everything, oh everything, yes everything is possible with God.
Have a great day everyone and love each other as He loves!!
In Him
Lisa
Monday, May 10, 2010
Pearls
Good Morning, my webbies!! It's another Monday, here in paradise!! Everyone knows I love Mondays!! I'm peculiar, I know....but,I prefer to think of it as being original. I love the feeling of beginning again, with a whole new week and another week means another week closer to being reunited with the ultimate joy of my life, my fourteen year old daughter Mariah!! She isn't mine by flesh....she's Mark's, but Leeza Gibbons once said; "Not flesh of my flesh, not bone of my bone, but desire of my heart" and she is.....We are very close and I love her as if I had carried her, myself. She'll be here on the evening of June 5th and Mark and I are beside ourselves with joy!!
I am sorry that I haven't been around much....I have no viable excuse for not writing, because laziness and being uninspired are not excuses!! The enemy has been working double time on me, the past couple of weeks and I've been trying to claw my way out of my pit!! It's not been easy and it's not been fun. It has though, been a time of learning and hopefully growing.....I am not an easy person to get through to....I'm hardheaded and stubborn. Sometimes, God really has to knock me down, to be able to stand me up and get me going again!! I am thankful for every one of you, who keeps me in your prayers.....I really need those. Lemme tell you all, what's been going on. Firstly.....I have stopped going to the gym.....I stopped three weeks ago. It was starting to become and obsession and all obsessions are strongholds......The last thing I need in my life is another stronghold!! We all need exercise, everyday but I was spending as much as three hours a day in the gym and that's not so good!! I am going to try and go back to the gym, today and do a single 30 minute workout and that's all.....No more and no less. Secondly: I've had to seriously look at my eating habits. (Yes, again.....Don't give me that look and seriously, stop rolling your eyes......) They've gotten way out of control....I've been flip flopping from starvation to excessive eating.....from low carbing to not and everything else, in between!! I've seen it all....and I don't like it....I don't feel good and I don't like it!! So, I'm going to try Weight Watchers again!! Please pray for me, my friends.....I need to get this weight off, but I need a plan that's sensible and flexible. Atkins wasn't.....though it was good for my diabetes, it was really difficult to work it into my life. So this morning, I had half a french toast bagel (Glor, it was really very good...not too sweet) toasted with some low fat margarine and I'm working on my second cup of decaf.....and I'm feeling quite satisfied. I'll have a bowl of soup for lunch and maybe a salad or half a peanut butter sandwich. Thankfully, I have much soup in my cupboard. I need to make some SF Jello and put it in the fridge.....I just cannot let myself "go".....I've seen what that will do and I'm not ready to give up my life for food. I'm not ready to give up my servant's heart for a Snickers bar!! I'm not ready to die!!
It doesn't look like there's going to be any more unemployment extensions for the already 101,000 people living in California who have run out of benefits.....Yours truly being one of those people. I am thankful for the extensions we got, though....It saw us through some hard times!! Now, though, we will have to buckle down and really economize our lives!! I will probably start doing a little more selling on eBay....Just to have some pocket money and a few niceties, while Mariah is here. We usually do our grocery shopping at Walmart Super Center, down in Stockton, once a month, but this time, we went to Smart and Final...I spent less and got more of what I needed and less of those impulse buys, that I am sooooo known for. We did really well. I still need a few things from Walmart, but I'll make Mark a list today and he'll stop tomorrow, on his way home from work and pick up what I need. That way, we're not wasting gas on an extra trip and Mark is less apt to impulse spend.....So we managed to cut our monthly grocery spending from over $300.00 a month to right around $200.00......That's just $50.00 a week in groceries, for the two of us. Not too shabby!! I did get a great bargain on eggs, yesterday!! Smart and Final had the biggest brown eggs I've ever seen in my life....20 count flats for $2.55. We are now set on eggs!!
I need to get going, though....I have much to do today and I need to get started!! Everybody have a happy Monday and if you would, keep my mother in your prayers, when I called her yesterday, she couldn't move her legs to walk. She was very upset at this and seemed very scared!! Love each other as He loves and we'll talk again, soon!!
In Him,
Lisa
I am sorry that I haven't been around much....I have no viable excuse for not writing, because laziness and being uninspired are not excuses!! The enemy has been working double time on me, the past couple of weeks and I've been trying to claw my way out of my pit!! It's not been easy and it's not been fun. It has though, been a time of learning and hopefully growing.....I am not an easy person to get through to....I'm hardheaded and stubborn. Sometimes, God really has to knock me down, to be able to stand me up and get me going again!! I am thankful for every one of you, who keeps me in your prayers.....I really need those. Lemme tell you all, what's been going on. Firstly.....I have stopped going to the gym.....I stopped three weeks ago. It was starting to become and obsession and all obsessions are strongholds......The last thing I need in my life is another stronghold!! We all need exercise, everyday but I was spending as much as three hours a day in the gym and that's not so good!! I am going to try and go back to the gym, today and do a single 30 minute workout and that's all.....No more and no less. Secondly: I've had to seriously look at my eating habits. (Yes, again.....Don't give me that look and seriously, stop rolling your eyes......) They've gotten way out of control....I've been flip flopping from starvation to excessive eating.....from low carbing to not and everything else, in between!! I've seen it all....and I don't like it....I don't feel good and I don't like it!! So, I'm going to try Weight Watchers again!! Please pray for me, my friends.....I need to get this weight off, but I need a plan that's sensible and flexible. Atkins wasn't.....though it was good for my diabetes, it was really difficult to work it into my life. So this morning, I had half a french toast bagel (Glor, it was really very good...not too sweet) toasted with some low fat margarine and I'm working on my second cup of decaf.....and I'm feeling quite satisfied. I'll have a bowl of soup for lunch and maybe a salad or half a peanut butter sandwich. Thankfully, I have much soup in my cupboard. I need to make some SF Jello and put it in the fridge.....I just cannot let myself "go".....I've seen what that will do and I'm not ready to give up my life for food. I'm not ready to give up my servant's heart for a Snickers bar!! I'm not ready to die!!
It doesn't look like there's going to be any more unemployment extensions for the already 101,000 people living in California who have run out of benefits.....Yours truly being one of those people. I am thankful for the extensions we got, though....It saw us through some hard times!! Now, though, we will have to buckle down and really economize our lives!! I will probably start doing a little more selling on eBay....Just to have some pocket money and a few niceties, while Mariah is here. We usually do our grocery shopping at Walmart Super Center, down in Stockton, once a month, but this time, we went to Smart and Final...I spent less and got more of what I needed and less of those impulse buys, that I am sooooo known for. We did really well. I still need a few things from Walmart, but I'll make Mark a list today and he'll stop tomorrow, on his way home from work and pick up what I need. That way, we're not wasting gas on an extra trip and Mark is less apt to impulse spend.....So we managed to cut our monthly grocery spending from over $300.00 a month to right around $200.00......That's just $50.00 a week in groceries, for the two of us. Not too shabby!! I did get a great bargain on eggs, yesterday!! Smart and Final had the biggest brown eggs I've ever seen in my life....20 count flats for $2.55. We are now set on eggs!!
I need to get going, though....I have much to do today and I need to get started!! Everybody have a happy Monday and if you would, keep my mother in your prayers, when I called her yesterday, she couldn't move her legs to walk. She was very upset at this and seemed very scared!! Love each other as He loves and we'll talk again, soon!!
In Him,
Lisa
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Life on Tuesday....
Good Morning to my favorite people in the world. It's another Tuesday and I'm here, with bells on, writing this to you. The day hasn't started out, too bad!! The sun is shining, the wind has calmed and I have some things to do today, that will keep me pretty much outta trouble. But knowing me, trouble will find me and I'll end up in some sorta mischief...What can I say? After all, this is me, we're talking about and where there is me, there is mischief, waiting in the wings. Oh don't be such a dullard, embrace your inner imp!! Trust me, it hardly hurts at all!! That said, let's move on to bigger and better ideas!!
I decided to bump up my workout, this week!! I have a little over a month til Rosemary's wedding and I want to fit into that dress, without having to have it altered and without having to use a shoe horn (or even worse, a girdle) ((I can just see it....Fresno, late May, late afternoon and me in elastic underwear....can we say chaffing??)) So now, instead of pedaling 15 miles in the morning and 15 in the evening, I pedal 20 miles in the morning and then again in the evening. 40 miles a day!! I don't think I'll be able to get much more than that in, in a day....I can though, increase the resistance on the bike and intensify the workout, though. Right now, I pedal with no resistance at 21 to 23 miles per hour. I am also trying to be super duper strict with my eating and I'm being diligent with drinking all of my water, everyday!! Without enough water, your body cannot transport fat out of the cells to be used as energy....I drink roughly 90 to 128 ounces of water a day. I need to prove to myself, that I can do this....I need to prove to my family, that I can do this....I need to prove to my daughter, that I can do this. The only one who really doesn't need proof is God. Phil 4: 13 I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. And......James 1: 2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. I am learning to take everything day by day!! Day by day, and with each passing moment,Strength I find, to meet my trials here; Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure Gives unto each day what He deems best—Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure, Mingling toil with peace and rest. Every day, the Lord Himself is near me With a special mercy for each hour;All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me, He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;
The protection of His child and treasure Is a charge that on Himself He laid;“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”This the pledge to me He made.Help me then in every tribulation So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation Offered me within Thy holy Word.Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,Till I reach the promised land. Those beautiful words from such a beautiful hymn and a very important truth for me, especially now, when I tend to let the days all gang up and take me down. I'm praying for the patience and grace to be able to take this journey Day by Day.
Today, I have to workout!! (Yay!!) and then I have counseling with Pastor Dave....then I get to workout again (Yay!!) and then I need to come home, work on housework and fix a nice dinner for Mark and I. I've been feeling left out of his life, as of late and we really need to be reconnecting each day, by taking our evening meal together. Anyhoo, that's about it for today..kinda boring, I know, but what can I say? I have a fabulously simple life. Love each other as He loves.
In Him
Lisa
I decided to bump up my workout, this week!! I have a little over a month til Rosemary's wedding and I want to fit into that dress, without having to have it altered and without having to use a shoe horn (or even worse, a girdle) ((I can just see it....Fresno, late May, late afternoon and me in elastic underwear....can we say chaffing??)) So now, instead of pedaling 15 miles in the morning and 15 in the evening, I pedal 20 miles in the morning and then again in the evening. 40 miles a day!! I don't think I'll be able to get much more than that in, in a day....I can though, increase the resistance on the bike and intensify the workout, though. Right now, I pedal with no resistance at 21 to 23 miles per hour. I am also trying to be super duper strict with my eating and I'm being diligent with drinking all of my water, everyday!! Without enough water, your body cannot transport fat out of the cells to be used as energy....I drink roughly 90 to 128 ounces of water a day. I need to prove to myself, that I can do this....I need to prove to my family, that I can do this....I need to prove to my daughter, that I can do this. The only one who really doesn't need proof is God. Phil 4: 13 I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. And......James 1: 2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. I am learning to take everything day by day!! Day by day, and with each passing moment,Strength I find, to meet my trials here; Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure Gives unto each day what He deems best—Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure, Mingling toil with peace and rest. Every day, the Lord Himself is near me With a special mercy for each hour;All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me, He Whose Name is Counselor and Power;
The protection of His child and treasure Is a charge that on Himself He laid;“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”This the pledge to me He made.Help me then in every tribulation So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation Offered me within Thy holy Word.Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,Till I reach the promised land. Those beautiful words from such a beautiful hymn and a very important truth for me, especially now, when I tend to let the days all gang up and take me down. I'm praying for the patience and grace to be able to take this journey Day by Day.
Today, I have to workout!! (Yay!!) and then I have counseling with Pastor Dave....then I get to workout again (Yay!!) and then I need to come home, work on housework and fix a nice dinner for Mark and I. I've been feeling left out of his life, as of late and we really need to be reconnecting each day, by taking our evening meal together. Anyhoo, that's about it for today..kinda boring, I know, but what can I say? I have a fabulously simple life. Love each other as He loves.
In Him
Lisa
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Happy Saturday.....
Good Morning everybody!! Sleep well?? I slept like a veritable rock! I woke up at ten of five, this morning and decided that it was too early to get up and being that I have tinnitus, silence is almost painfully loud for me, so I put on a movie and went back to sleep. Peanut started squeaking around six, so Mark got up and took him out, I rolled over and went back to sleep. Mark came back to bed and that's where he is now....He'll sleep til I force him get up! I woke up about an hour later, around seven and turned on the Food Network. They have some great shows on, on Saturday Morning. One of my absolute favorite chefs is Chef Anne Burrell...Her show is Secrets of a Restaurant Chef....Well today, she was making Coq Au Vin.....and dang, it looked so good, I could almost smell it. I haven't had Coq Au Vin in a long time....I don't necessarily care for French food, they use waaaaay too much offal and I'd rather chew razor blades than eat offal. Coq Au Vin, though is a very simple, elegant meal, that is comforting and delicious. I think I'll make some for Sunday supper. Now, I just have to find a place that sells capons. Somebody? Anybody? Bueller? I'll need to go to the grocery for some cremini mushrooms, so I'll ask my favorite butcher, Denise, where she would recommend looking for a capon. I might have to drive all the way to Jackson and try the butcher shop, there....or I might just have to settle for a really large chicken.
I'm feeling good today!! Well so far, that is....The day is only just started!! I'm going to make some french toast and sausage for breakfast. I'll use regular bread for Mark and for myself, I'll make a couple of one minute muffins and then use that, for my bread. I can eat sausage. Our favorite links come from Food 4 Less and are made by the New York Sausage Co. They are the best non gourmet sausage on the market. My favorite gourmet sausage is an apple wood smoked chicken sausage that they serve at the Disneyland Hotel. I think it's made by Saag, but don't quote me on that. I really need to buy the meat grinder for my Kitchen Aide, so that I can make my own sausage. Oh and it might help if I purchase the part for my pasta machine, that broke last year, so I can use my sausage horns. I like to experiment with different things....I wouldn't necessarily call it Haute Cuisine, just experimentation.....I would love to make Cecci....a smaller more dense salami type sausage.....and of course kielbasa. Then we'll need to buy a smoker, too....Darn the bad luck!! I've always wanted a smoker. Then, when my impolite neighbors pollute my house with the smell of their cigarette smoke, I can go out on the patio and light up the smoker and combat the smell with hickory or apple wood smoke.
Today is going to be a "just hang around the house and get things done" day...Mark has several Honey Dos to get done (if he ever gets out of bed) and I always have housework to do. I'm going to allow myself an hour and a half to read and then I'll get busy on my busy!! I am feeling the softness of being held in the hand of God, today.....I feel safe and enclosed. Maybe it's the weather or maybe I'm actually just allowing myself, finally to rest in His hands. It's not often that I get to feel this wonderful feeling of spiritual rest, so today, I'm going to cherish it, languish in it, steep in it.....Tomorrow will take care of itself....Have a wonderful Saturday, my friends....Love each other as He loves and take care of each other...
In Him
Lisa
I'm feeling good today!! Well so far, that is....The day is only just started!! I'm going to make some french toast and sausage for breakfast. I'll use regular bread for Mark and for myself, I'll make a couple of one minute muffins and then use that, for my bread. I can eat sausage. Our favorite links come from Food 4 Less and are made by the New York Sausage Co. They are the best non gourmet sausage on the market. My favorite gourmet sausage is an apple wood smoked chicken sausage that they serve at the Disneyland Hotel. I think it's made by Saag, but don't quote me on that. I really need to buy the meat grinder for my Kitchen Aide, so that I can make my own sausage. Oh and it might help if I purchase the part for my pasta machine, that broke last year, so I can use my sausage horns. I like to experiment with different things....I wouldn't necessarily call it Haute Cuisine, just experimentation.....I would love to make Cecci....a smaller more dense salami type sausage.....and of course kielbasa. Then we'll need to buy a smoker, too....Darn the bad luck!! I've always wanted a smoker. Then, when my impolite neighbors pollute my house with the smell of their cigarette smoke, I can go out on the patio and light up the smoker and combat the smell with hickory or apple wood smoke.
Today is going to be a "just hang around the house and get things done" day...Mark has several Honey Dos to get done (if he ever gets out of bed) and I always have housework to do. I'm going to allow myself an hour and a half to read and then I'll get busy on my busy!! I am feeling the softness of being held in the hand of God, today.....I feel safe and enclosed. Maybe it's the weather or maybe I'm actually just allowing myself, finally to rest in His hands. It's not often that I get to feel this wonderful feeling of spiritual rest, so today, I'm going to cherish it, languish in it, steep in it.....Tomorrow will take care of itself....Have a wonderful Saturday, my friends....Love each other as He loves and take care of each other...
In Him
Lisa
Friday, April 9, 2010
Fridays, Butterflies, Endless Housework and Angels Unaware!!
Good Morning, my web bound friends....I am in awe today!! Yesterday was not such a great day and as I rose, this morning, I can honestly admit, that I believed today would follow in the same sort of vein!! Not so, I open my email to find many messages, from the ones who love and support me, my angels, my sisters, my friends......I read a quote once that said "friends hold us up when we don't have the strength to stand" and this morning, I am a firm believer in that!! Thanks to all of you, who became my strength to stand!! Admittedly, I tend to be more pessimistic than not. I'm working on it, but let's face it, Rome was not built in a day. I was sure today was going to be as crappy as yesterday was!! Then the Voice of my Savior permeated the room and I heard Him say "Lisa, let it rise". I have learned, in my past travels and travails, that when God takes the time to audibly speak to me, then for Heaven's sake and my own, I'd best listen!! So I sat back down on my bed and closed my eyes. I envisioned all of my negative thoughts and feelings as little black balloons, all tied together, with strings and as I let them all go, they rose into the sky. God reached down and with His finger, he popped each balloon and it became a beautiful butterfly.....and suddenly, I was surrounded by a sky full of butterflies. The only thing I could do, in that moment was to sit there and start singing "Something beautiful, something good. All my confusion, He understood. All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife, but He made something beautiful of my life." and then I heard Him say "This is for My Glory"......I may not see the bigger picture now, but am faithful that there will come a day when I will have His eyes and see as He sees.....Right now, I am surrounded with giants of fear and failure. They taunt me, they laugh at me...they keep me chained to the person I was, before I was redeemed. King David was faced with a giant once, when he was just a boy! Goliath marched forward with his sword and shield, shouting "Where is your God now," and David stood his ground. His shield was his faith in God. His sword was a simple stone that when used for His glory, knocked that giant down, killing him. With one mighty flick, from the wrist of a young boy who believed, had faith and the common sense to listen to the voice of his Heavenly Father, that giant fell. God is greater than giants, no matter how big they are or what they represent and God is greater than my past, He's greater than my fear.....So, today, when the devil comes at me, with his sword and shield, I'll look at him, throw three fingers in his face and yell "Whatever" knowing that I fight, not for the glory or benefit of myself, but for the glory and the benefit of His Kingdom and going back to Romans Chapter 8 (probably my most favorite entire chapter in the Bible) verses 28-39
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. We are more than conquerors through Him who loves us and nothing (not Twinkies or Double Cheeseburgers or Banana Splits) in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus!! Today, those giants are going to fall....they aren't going to keep me from eating right, from going to the gym or from cleaning my house. So be forewarned giants!! You're day of demise has come!! No longer will you torment me with your lies....Get thee behind me!! I'm claiming it for the Glory of God, for He is Mighty to Save!!
Enjoy your weekend, my friends and if I don't see you this weekend, I'll see you again on Monday.....Remember to love as He loves and take care of each other.
In Him
Lisa
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. We are more than conquerors through Him who loves us and nothing (not Twinkies or Double Cheeseburgers or Banana Splits) in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus!! Today, those giants are going to fall....they aren't going to keep me from eating right, from going to the gym or from cleaning my house. So be forewarned giants!! You're day of demise has come!! No longer will you torment me with your lies....Get thee behind me!! I'm claiming it for the Glory of God, for He is Mighty to Save!!
Enjoy your weekend, my friends and if I don't see you this weekend, I'll see you again on Monday.....Remember to love as He loves and take care of each other.
In Him
Lisa
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Late is Better than Never,,,,,
Good Evening, Friends....
I am late in posting this, today!! I haven't felt very well, today and I've been resting. As I have gotten older, there is a specific time of the month that has gotten less easy for me to cope with, than when I was younger. Funny, I thought as a woman grows older, her biological operations become easier to handle.....so, what the heck's up with this? I expect to be feeling better tomorrow....I have company coming on Sunday and I need to clean my messy house....I'm just so worn out!! I am glad my friends are realists and they realize that Martha Stewart doesn't live here. Still I don't want my house to look like Pigpen lives here, either.
I'm struggling again, with my weight, my diet and my exercise regime. I can go along great, for a while and then I give up and struggle and then the whole kit and kaboodle goes into this spiraling yo-yo effect of lose, gain, lose, gain.....struggle, struggle, struggle....victory....struggle, this leads to condemnation and ultimately ends up in self loathing.....I try to lose weight for Mark, but he doesn't encourage me....I mean it starts out real well and then he forgets.....I try to lose weight for Mariah, so that she'll be proud to call me Mom and not be ashamed to be seen with me, out in public.....then I realize that she's a teenager and eventually, she's going to hate me, no matter what I look like....I try to lose weight to please my Heavenly Father....this is the hardest for me...See, my perception of "Father" has been damaged, by my life experience. I was never, nor am I now, anywhere near good enough for my earthly father, what makes me think that I could ever be good enough for my Heavenly Father?? So why even try? Right? WRONG!! Romans 8:37 says 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. and 2 Chronicles 7:14 says If My people which are called by My name, shall humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven and shall forgive their sin and heal their land. It seems like everyday, I start out determined and strong and by the end of the day, I'm indulging my flesh with donuts, double cheeseburgers and mashed potatoes. I'm getting very discouraged!! I feel so alone and so sad, sometimes. I'd love to have an accountability partner, someone who is also in the same boat as I...Someone I can call for prayer and encouragement and give prayer and encouragement, as well. But, people are busy and everyone has their own problems to deal with. Please friends, pray for me.....I have medical conditions that will be significantly better, if I can lose this weight. I just need a little strength and I need a lot of faith to get through this....Like Amy Grant says "It takes a little time sometimes, to get your feet back on the ground....Give it time"
Well, the week is nearly over and I am happy that we are another week closer to Mariah coming out for her summer visit. We have much planned for her, while she's here. I still have much to do to get ready for her, but I'm getting it done, a little at a time. Mark and I are very excited to be able to watch Mariah grow into a young woman. She's smart and she's beautiful and she's the apple of Daddy's eye!!
Rosemary and Joe are coming up on Sunday, to meet with Pastor, regarding their wedding. I will be happy to see them. Rosemary and I have been best friends since 8th grade. They'll come up for church and then meet with Pastor and then come back to our house for lunch!! Anyhoo, I had better git!! I need to start dinner....Pork Steak.....yum!! Anyhow, y'all have a great evening and love as He loves!!
In Him,
Lisa
I am late in posting this, today!! I haven't felt very well, today and I've been resting. As I have gotten older, there is a specific time of the month that has gotten less easy for me to cope with, than when I was younger. Funny, I thought as a woman grows older, her biological operations become easier to handle.....so, what the heck's up with this? I expect to be feeling better tomorrow....I have company coming on Sunday and I need to clean my messy house....I'm just so worn out!! I am glad my friends are realists and they realize that Martha Stewart doesn't live here. Still I don't want my house to look like Pigpen lives here, either.
I'm struggling again, with my weight, my diet and my exercise regime. I can go along great, for a while and then I give up and struggle and then the whole kit and kaboodle goes into this spiraling yo-yo effect of lose, gain, lose, gain.....struggle, struggle, struggle....victory....struggle, this leads to condemnation and ultimately ends up in self loathing.....I try to lose weight for Mark, but he doesn't encourage me....I mean it starts out real well and then he forgets.....I try to lose weight for Mariah, so that she'll be proud to call me Mom and not be ashamed to be seen with me, out in public.....then I realize that she's a teenager and eventually, she's going to hate me, no matter what I look like....I try to lose weight to please my Heavenly Father....this is the hardest for me...See, my perception of "Father" has been damaged, by my life experience. I was never, nor am I now, anywhere near good enough for my earthly father, what makes me think that I could ever be good enough for my Heavenly Father?? So why even try? Right? WRONG!! Romans 8:37 says 37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. and 2 Chronicles 7:14 says If My people which are called by My name, shall humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven and shall forgive their sin and heal their land. It seems like everyday, I start out determined and strong and by the end of the day, I'm indulging my flesh with donuts, double cheeseburgers and mashed potatoes. I'm getting very discouraged!! I feel so alone and so sad, sometimes. I'd love to have an accountability partner, someone who is also in the same boat as I...Someone I can call for prayer and encouragement and give prayer and encouragement, as well. But, people are busy and everyone has their own problems to deal with. Please friends, pray for me.....I have medical conditions that will be significantly better, if I can lose this weight. I just need a little strength and I need a lot of faith to get through this....Like Amy Grant says "It takes a little time sometimes, to get your feet back on the ground....Give it time"
Well, the week is nearly over and I am happy that we are another week closer to Mariah coming out for her summer visit. We have much planned for her, while she's here. I still have much to do to get ready for her, but I'm getting it done, a little at a time. Mark and I are very excited to be able to watch Mariah grow into a young woman. She's smart and she's beautiful and she's the apple of Daddy's eye!!
Rosemary and Joe are coming up on Sunday, to meet with Pastor, regarding their wedding. I will be happy to see them. Rosemary and I have been best friends since 8th grade. They'll come up for church and then meet with Pastor and then come back to our house for lunch!! Anyhoo, I had better git!! I need to start dinner....Pork Steak.....yum!! Anyhow, y'all have a great evening and love as He loves!!
In Him,
Lisa
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Lifestyles of the Blessed and Annointed!!
Good Morning, my webbie friends!! Happy Wednesday! I was going to title this post "Lifestyles of the Dull and Boring".....but then, I thought for a moment!! Hmmmm.....Would God want me, as His child, to see my life and my lifestyle as Dull and Boring?? I don't think He would. In fact, the Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (New International Version) 16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. I have a hard time, sometimes, rejoicing when I feel like my life is "Dull and Boring" and I believe that that is Satan, trying to convince me that I am of no use to the Kingdom of God. Useless......Worthless.....Undeserving......Truth is, without the saving grace of God, through His Son, Jesus Christ, we are useless, worthless and undeserving......I am so glad I was saved by love!! That the miracle of Jesus...His birth, His life, His death and His resurrection saved a lowly sinner, such as myself!! I was lost!! Living a life of sin and shame....involved in pagan worship. I was calling upon what I thought were benevolent spirits, to do my bidding and help me in my "magick".......I almost lost my home, my husband and my soul to this lie that Satan tells to so many!! That paganism (Wicca, Gaia, Druidism) is a completely safe, nature based belief system. All are welcome!! There are almost no rules or guidelines....there is no Bible....they have no retribution.....It is all lies!! Every bit of it!! Let me tell you something God revealed to me, about pagan worship.....Yes, you can do your rituals and get what you ultimately want from these "benevolent spirits"(by the way, these are not benevolent spirits, but the servants of the strongman...the dark one, Satan) but they will want to be paid back, rewarded for their service, eventually. What can you give them?? What will they take for their help?? They will take your soul!! They only want your soul!! When I was at the end of my rope, God gave me a vision of what was to come for me, as a Wiccan!! I was lying alone, on a bed in the darkness. I was wheezing, not able to breathe. I knew I was dying and as I drew my last breath, the floor below me opened up and the scariest, most vile beasts came up from that hole and dragged my soul off to Hell. There was nothing I could do.....there was nothing I could say.....These demons wanted their due, for aiding me, in my magick. I remember that night, very well. It was January 27th, 2007.....I was staying with my parents for the weekend...I was mourning the fact that my marriage was basically over and that Mark was replacing me with a woman he met on the internet. In that moment, my stone heart became as flesh and I opened it, to Jesus. I prayed the sinners prayer and repented of all of my sins. Nicole C. Mullen sings a song called "When I Call on Jesus" and part of the chorus says "He'll move Heaven and Earth to come rescue me, when I call" and He did. He rescued me!! Things did not immediately get better for me, in fact, they got significantly worse. Satan works overtime, when a soul is just about to experience a break-through or when he knows that that soul is going to become important in the Kingdom. I had nasty little demons, coming out of the woodwork....bringing me horribly graphic nightmares, whispering their lies in my ears.....Mark's girlfriend began to torture me, with email messages and she began calling the house, to talk to Mark, when she knew I'd be home. Mark was insistent that she was what he wanted and God was there, in the midst of all of my pain and suffering, showing me how to do battle!! I, as a joint heir, with Jesus, fought hard....battled and won!! Not ever with my own strength, but with the strength of my Redeemer: My Abba Daddy!! He was, is and ever will be Mighty to Save!! Now, you can say that you don't need Jesus....That the rules, the laws and the commandments of the Bible are too stringent for you. That all Christians are false and hypocritical.....and I'll tell you about me. I thought all of those things....I fought God, tooth and nail, before I repented!! But right now, today....I feel Him, holding my hand when I worry!! I see Him with His hands on my shoulders when I need counsel or feel as if I cannot take another step in the right direction. I hear Him in the voice of my Pastor and my brothers and sisters in Christ, when I ask them for help or prayer. Let's face it.....To live like there is no God, makes you a fool!! To believe that you have the power to change someone's life, with magick makes you, not only a fool, but a condemned fool!! Now, when I see myself on that bed, in the darkness...breathing my last breath and those demons come for me.....I scream at them "I was bought by the Blood of Jesus, LET ME GO" and then, I am in the presence of the Almighty and He looks at me and says "Well done, My good and faithful servant.....Welcome Home" I am thankful for that vision, on that night, three years ago. God showed me the way through the little narrow gate that is salvation and now, I walk close to Him. He loves me so very much and so much more abundantly than I ever thought possible. I have freedom now. I am part of something that will never leave me, never forsake me and never let me down. I cannot tell you what to chose!! I cannot make you believe....but know that I pray for you, daily.....and I love you, more than you'll ever know.
Well, today looks as though it's going to be another one of those busy days, for me. I have to go to the gym and work out. Haven't been since last Thursday!! Then I get to pay my phone bill. I have to go to Target and Food 4 Less, to finish the grocery shopping and then I have to go back to the gym for round 2. I am happy though and I feel good!! Well, you all have a good day and love as He loves!!
In Him,
Lisa
Well, today looks as though it's going to be another one of those busy days, for me. I have to go to the gym and work out. Haven't been since last Thursday!! Then I get to pay my phone bill. I have to go to Target and Food 4 Less, to finish the grocery shopping and then I have to go back to the gym for round 2. I am happy though and I feel good!! Well, you all have a good day and love as He loves!!
In Him,
Lisa
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